On With The Show, This Is It – The NHL Awards 2008

– Much like my friends over at IPB, I will be liveblogging the NHL Awards show. The local news has already treated us to a glimpse of Pominville in a suit and tie, and he looks good.

– Its 701pm and Versus is currently showing us the CBC feed of Coronation Street. Its the great TapOut debacle all over again. Is it really that difficult to sync up the broadcast feeds? Hey, what do you know, Versus shows up while I’m typing. Oh, its the NHL Draft show from a couple of weeks ago. We already know that Stamkos is going to Tampa. Do we really need to see this again!? I want to see NHL players in tuxes, bad comedy from Ron MacLean, and interesting musical performances. I’m not asking for much, am I?

– Seven minutes in, and we’ve finally got it right. I’ll just flip over to CBC at some point to see what I missed.

– Martin St. Louis is presenting the Pearson Award. He reads cue cards well. [/sarcasm]

– Ovie accepts his Pearson Award while wearing a red tie and vest combo. He pulls a sheet of paper out of his pocket to read a speech. Will he read the same speech for each award he wins tonight? Ovie looks like he’s having anything but fun up on the podium, and for someone who’s known for being the only person in the NHL to have fun, this is a total anomaly.

– I use the brief commercial interlude to head down and throw in a load of laundry and catch up on NASCAR news at Jayski’s page. I find it incredibly awesome that Tony Stewart is donating his winnings from this weekend’s race to flood relief in his hometown. I also find it incredibly adorable that he has four baby deer penned up on his deck because he doesn’t want them to get stuck in the mud and muck down below.

– Why the fuck is Hasek on stage? Oh, he’s there to pick up the Jennings Award for his and Osgood’s performance in goal this year. Osgood couldn’t make it, since he’s too busy whoring it up it Hollywood with Stanley.

– These little kids wearing various team jerseys sitting in front of the stage are absolutely adorable. Though someone couldn’t spring for them to have jerseys with the names on the back?

– Montage, Montage, its a montage. This montage is about the NHL’s youngsters. Why have there been so few shots of Sabre players in this montage? We’re one of the youngest teams in the league, for pete’s sake. Well, that montage added absolutely nothing to the broadcast.

– Guy Carbonneau’s bow tie is slightly askew. It gives him a slightly rakish look.

– And to the surprise of no one, Datsyuk wins the Selke. He also pulls a speech out of his pocket, and completely wins me over (despite the candy corn shaped head) by admitting that he would have spoken longer, but his English is “too short.”

– The mom unit pipes up to wonder what the hell is going on with Adam Graves’ shiny and ill-fitting suitcoat.

– Vinny LeCavalier looks like a giant compared to Martin St. Louis. (Then again, I suppose Derek Roy would look gigantic compared to St. Louis.) Vinny finishes his speech with a few French words. I have no idea what he said, but I do enjoy some French speaking hockey players.

– To my complete surprise, Jason Blake wins the Masterton Award. I really thought that Chelios would win it, based on the fact that Blake’s and Pisani’s diseases would cancel each other out, and the old guy would win. Blake finishes his speech with a tiny hint of a tear in his voice. You could really tell that this award meant a lot to him.

– Aww, Pominville’s a good role model for the kiddies. I’ll second that motion. You rarely hear stories about him being a bar hopping fiend (unlike a teammate who’s name rhymes with Blimmy Blonnolly). And from what I’ve read, Pommer is a complete sweetheart at public appearances.

– Poor Jason, he didn’t win the Lady Byng. I’m going to pull out a cliche and say that it was an honor to just be nominated. The mom unit pipes up that it sounds like Datsyuk thinks he’s playing Ha-Ha’s during his acceptance speech, saying he has nothing more to say, having blown his speech on the first award. It doesn’t matter though, he’s still won me over. Though now he kind of looks like Chekhov from Star Trek: Original Recipe.

– Hockey heroes have “faces only a mother could love.” Ain’t that the truth? For every pretty boy hockey player, there’s one with stitches, or a broken nose or a black eye.

– I use the commercial break to get a snack: Turkey Hill Neopolitan Ice Cream, in case you care.

– Ovie loves scoring goals? Really? Where the hell have I been to not know this! Thank you NHL Awards show for enlightening me.

– I do not like that Cammi Granato is wearing white shoes with her pea green dress.

– I’m really happy that Boudreau won the Jack Adams. He deserved it after turning a pile of shit team into a division winner.

– As part of his comedy routine emceeing, Ron MacLean answers his cell phone with the traditional HNiC intro from Foster Hewitt: “Hello Hockey Fans in Canada, the United States and Newfoundland.” Why does Hewitt call out Newfoundland separately? Last time I checked, they were still a part of Canada? Are they really that separate from the rest of the nation? (Ignorant American here.)

– And to the surpise of no one, Patrick Kane wins the Calder Trophy for Rookie of the Year. Kaner cleans up really well. He’s also a very good public speaker; he’s doing really well with speaking off the cuff. Nice little joke about keeping 25 teammates away from his three younger sisters…not that hockey players are horndogs or anything. Poor dude’s going to get razzed by his teammates and his sisters for that remark.

– Wow, could that applause for Bettman have been any more tepid?

– Gordy Howe looks amazingly good for an 80-year-old guy. Howe is being honored with the league’s first lifetime achievement award. I really can’t argue that there is a more deserving nominee. As a history geek, I really like seeing the old NHL footage. Its nice to be reminded how much the game has changed since Howe’s time. Its also nice that the league takes time out if its awards show to honor its history. Not to go on a tangent, but I really feel like the NHL honors its history better than any major sport (with maybe the exception of baseball.) Not only does the Stanley Cup trophy have the names of the former winners on it, but the awards trophies are named for important league founders and personnel. And NHL alums are still active within the game, serving as broadcasters, coaches, scouts and other team personnel. The league has a living history. The minute the league – and the fans – stop remembering that, we lose what separates hockey from the other sports.

– Howe also points out that once your start loving the game, its in your blood, you can’t get rid of it. Ain’t that the truth. How many of us hockey fans could stop being fans of the sport right now, if we were asked to?

– We’re given a brief respite from the speechifying with a brief montage about the “warriors” old farts in the game. The “next shift/next save being the best one” concept isn’t just limited to these guys. Shouldn’t all hockey players believe that?

– And to the surprise of no one, Nicklas Lidstrom wins the Norris Trophy. Mrs. Lidstrom is absolutely gorgeous, and his sons are adorable. I also love Lidstrom’s weird mix of a Swedish Midwestern accent.

– Why does Evgeni Malkin always look so confused? Poor dear looks like he couldn’t find his rear end with two hands, a map and a compass.

– I look at the clock and realize that this show isn’t going to end at the prescribed time of 8:30.

– Not only does the lead singer from Great Big Sea sing fantastic songs, he’s not a half-bad hockey goalie. That’s a genuine surprise!

– Yay, Marty! And he looks good. He looks like he lost some weight since the season ended. Though maybe in his case the camera subtracts 10 pounds instead of adds them? I kid, I kid. I like Marty and know he’s busted his ass for all of his accomplishments and deserves the award.

– Ovie’s vest and tie would’ve worked a lot better if his suit coat had more than one button. Right now, the vest and tie are peaking out kind of like what happens when that dirty old guy in your office misses a button on his shirt, and you’re getting a view of his beer gut.

– And awarding the Hart trophy to Ovie finalizes the 2007-08 season. We can finally close the books on the pain, the joy, the sorrow, the bitching and the whining that was this past season. Stay tuned to SOtC for some draft coverage, free agent coverage, and of course the “Reasons I Love Hockey” series.