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The Devil You Know

April 4, 2009

First Period

- Has it been determined when Miller will debut his new mask design? I know that he wrote in his blog that it was still in the works, but there’s been no debut date. I wonder if it will remain on the shelf until next season, considering there’s only a minimum number of games left.

- Saints be praised: the Rangers lost today.The Sabres control their own destiny. A win tonight and they’re tied with Florida and are two points back of the Rangers.

- Crap. Clarkson scored to make it 1-0 Devils. Miller was down (after Adam Mair tripped over him) and couldn’t get up in time to stop the shot. The stat just popped up on the screen that the Devils have won 35 games this season when scoring first. That’s not a good stat for the Sabres.

- The worst words a Sabres fan can hear are: “Tim Connolly is down on the ice.” Great. He’s slow at getting up, but makes it to the bench in only a small amount of distress.

- A new Sabres Green Team commercial takes some of the sting out of the fact that the Devils are now up 2-0, as Paul Martin rips a shot from the point that may or may not have been tipped by Parise. (It was.) The new Green Team commercial features Goose narrating about the energy saved by taking one of the NFTA’s new hybrid buses or riding the train downtown. Of course, we don’t actually see Goose riding on a train or the bus, but we get Sabretooth gesticulating outside both of them. (Memo to Goose: I would take a bus to work, if I wouldn’t have to leave the house at half past the crack of Sabretooth’s ass in order to catch the two buses, train and mile walk necessary to get to my office.)

- Gaustad heads toward the net and inadvertently collides with Brodeur. Goose is treated to an elbow in the snout from Mike Rupp, which gives the Sabres their first power play.

- I only want to say it once tonight: shoot the blasted puck on the power play. That is all.

- Why are we seeing copier commercials from Rochester? And cheesy copier commercials to boot. It’s like Michael Scott designed this commercial.In fact, Michael Scott being in this commercial would probably make it 100% better.

- And the ish hits the fan midway through this period, as Parise interferes with Miller behind the net. No penalty called on the interference. Timmy takes exception to the interference and whomps on Parise. Penalty somewhat rightfully called on that one. Meanwhile, Miller takes umbrage to the whole situation and dives headlong into the scrum that developed after Timmy whomped Parise. I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I really do enjoy when Cranky Miller shows up on the ice. We so often see Cool, Calm, In-Control Miller, making Feisty, Crotchety Miller all that much more welcome.

- One of my search terms today was “Parise Stafford Fight.” I don’t know if this is an omen for tonight’s game or not. I’m thinking it might be.

- The camera dude shows Lou Lamoriello sitting in the press box with one of the Devils assistant coaches. Harry Neale shares Lamoriello’s GM philosophy: “Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, scratch what itches.” I think the full an empty parts cancel each other out, but if there’s a lot of itch in the Devils locker room, might I suggest they change their flea collars or use a laundry detergent that doesn’t react with their skin.

- Roy gets tripped up with 4:20 left in the first to send the Sabres to the power play. Does the 4:20 mean that the Devil in the box gets to light up while he serves his time? As usual, the power play goes nowhere fast.

- The period ends with the boo birds quietly chirping from the 300 level.

Second Period

- During one of the commercial bumpers in the intermission, we’re treated to a brief shot of Sabretooth dancing with Doug Allen. It was absolutely adorable. According to Kim of Sabre Chaser, they were doing the chacha slide. At least it wasn’t the Macarena.

- Sigh. I tuned the game out a little bit to go read Celebrity Baby Blog, only to look up in time to see Jamie Langenbrunner go five hole on Miller. 3-0, Devils.

- Spacek niftily deflects a Parise pass to break up a 2-0n-1. Otherwise, this game could very well be 4-0. And the boo birds are getting louder. (Speaking of birds, there is a bird residing in the friendly offices of Dewey Addem and Howe. Said bird provided plenty of comedy yesterday afternoon.)

- I may end up throwing my remote through the TV set when I’m done watching it, but Tyra is going to have Levin Johnston (aka Bristol Palin’s baby daddy) on her show. Just reading the tidbits the show leaked and Palin’s denials has me seriously intrigued.

- Crap. I’m out of Wegmans Green Apple Sorbet. (Great recommendation, by the way, Katebits!) Too bad grocery stores don’t deliver. My sweet tooth is acting up something fierce right now.

- Thomas Vanek’s helmet looks like the love child of a Sabres helmet and a Bills helmet.

- For the first time all night, I’m hearing a “Lets Go Buffalo” chant from the crowd.

- I really have no idea what’s going on right now (I’m not being a very good blogger tonight), but I hear someone screaming “offsides! offsides!” in a tone of voice that suggests that someone is rooting around in their insides with a rusty spoon.

- The period ends with the boo birds really coming out. I wouldn’t be surprised if Miller was pulled to start the third period.

Third Period

- Well, at least Ryan Miller can fly his Michigan State flag high tonight. The Spartans are going to be playing in Monday night’s NCAA Championship game.

- John Vogl has a pretty nice article about Brodeur in today’s paper.

- Since I’m ranting about commercials tonight, the HSBC commercial featuring the guy making lassies in a washing machine kind of freaks me out. Why would anyone want to make a drink made in a washing machine?

- Four shots in the second period. Four lousy shots. And the Devils have blocked sixteen shots so far. I think I need a cookie.

- And I guees I’m psychic, as Tellqvist is in goal to start the third. I can’t tell if Miller is on the bench and shooting death glares at the entire HSBC Arena.

- Since winning is apparently not an option tonight, how bout we start small and work our way up to a goal? Please?

- Hecht scores while falling down onto his derriere, making the score 3-1, Devils. How bout we try that goal scoring thing again, guys? Please?

- This power play is frustrating the heck out of me. Just put the puck on the net and fight for it. It’s not rocket scientry, guys.

- We’re shown a shot of Steve Yzerman sitting in the press box. Harry Neale reports that Stevie Y is on a dual mission tonight, he’s scouting the Sabres for Monday night’s game and also for the World Championships. (Yzerman is the manager of Team Canada. If I were Stevie Y, Roy would probably be the only one seriously under consideration. Maybe Dominic Moore for some grit and determination. Maybe.)

- Remind me again why I even held the teensiest little bit of hope that these idiots could make the playoffs? Once again, we’re being treated to 40 minutes of apathy followed by 20 minutes of scramble. Someone needs to make these guys write “A Hockey Game is 60 Minutes Long” on a blackboard 100 times in order for it to sink it.

- Harry Neale: “The Devils are about as cautious as a one legged rope (looooooooooooong pause) climber.” Whatever you say, Harry.

- I think we just found ourselves a hockey game, as C-Mac scores on Brodeur to make it 3-2, Devils. This is C-Mac’s 5th goal in 7 games.

- With 34 seconds left in the game, the Devils take a delay of game penalty as White fires the puck over the glass. Lindy calls a timeout and whips out the dry erase board. He’s gesticulating, yelling and writing all at the same time. I’m suitably impressed.

- If the Sabres would have played the entire game like they played in the third period, they might have actually won this game. Putting 23 shots on Marty in the third period got them two goals. Wish they would have learned that lesson earlier on tonight.

Postgame

- There’s still plenty of hockey left to be played, as the Sabres are four points back with four points remaining. It’s not impossible, but it’s highly improbable tha they will make the playoffs. Cue the singing “To Dream the Impossible Dream” is all I am saying.

- Tonight’s goal by Hecht was his 11th of the year. Remember last year at this time how hard we were all routing for Hecht to get to 20 and the joy when he did? Yeah, that’s a distant memory.

- I see Miller’s new mask perched on his locker shelf during his interview. There’s some sort of yellow design on the chin part, with sky blue designs on sides. I want to see more, damn it. The mom unit and I get distracted from what Miller is actually saying during this interview, as we’re focused on determining whether or not he is going gray or there’s some wonky lighting in the locker room making his front bangs look a little gray streaked. I’m 27 and I’ve had a few grays in my day (god bless highlights), so it’s not completely out of the realm of possibility that Miller is turning gray. See what these guys have done to me? I’m debating their hair color. Sigh.

- Miller wasn’t benched. he was rested, according to Lindy. That’s some spin from the Coach.

- What’s the over/under on Bucky/Mike Harrington/John Vogl throwing Lindy, Darcy and the entire team under a bus in tomorrow’s paper? Bonus points given if Briere/Drury/Other Leavers and 5/25 are brought up within the story as well.

- Kaleta’s upper body injury was a migraine. Poor little thing. I hope he found a nice dark corner of the locker room to curl up and recover.

- Now onto playing Detroit on Monday. On Versus. Yippee.

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