Archive for April, 2010

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Brains in Your Head, Feet in Your Shoes…

April 29, 2010

While perusing the Buffalo News Photo Gallery chronicling locker cleanout day, I noticed something peculiar:

Look  at photo #6 of Miller.

Look at photo #8 of Gaustad.

Notice anything?

Look again. I’ll wait.

Give up?

They’re wearing matching shoes!

Somehow, the thought of them going shoe shopping together is oddly endearing.

I swear, there’s going to be relevant hockey content on this blog soon.

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Quick Hits From Locker Cleanout Day

April 28, 2010

- I’m still upset that the Sabres were bounced so quickly by the Bruins, but when you look at the big picture, this season was a definite improvement on the last two. When you look back at the preseason predictions, most people in the know had the Sabres fighting for the final playoff spot in the East. Fifth place was considered overachieving for this crew. But then – due to heads being removed from behinds and some epic collapses by their divisional rivals – this team actually won the division. That blew everyone’s mind, but still didn’t stop those in the know from saying that the Sabres were ripe for upset. Sadly, this prediction was correct.

I’m excited for next season. Ennis, Gerbe and Myers showed a ton of potential (and heart…and effort) and I’m sure some of the core have to be worried about those little spitfires breathing down their necks and challenging them for playing time. That might motivate them even more…provided they’re still here and haven’t been traded for a Sports Night DVD set and a box of microwave popcorn.

- I’ve been pondering this for most of the day: would a professional hockey team’s locker room be just as gross on locker cleanout day as the locker alley at an all girls high school was on locker cleanout day? I know hockey equipment comes with its own special brand of stink, but high school comes with its own personal level of stuff finding (“Hey! That’s where that skirt went!” as you pull your spare uniform skirt out and give it a shake to return the polyester to its unwrinkled glory. And the skirt was usually just the tip of the iceberg  of crap residing in the locker.)

- I’m falling into the non-surprised, surprised camp regarding Rivet’s injury. He was not playing up to a veteran’s standards during the season, so an injury seemed to be a likely reason for his play. I still am amazed that hockey players suck it up and go out and play even when there’s broken bones involved (Timmy) missing teeth, pucks to the head, etc. I turn into a whiny baby when I’m sick (and just ask my parents how I was while I had shingles) so their resilience and stubbornness to play amazes me. I’m not dumb enough to think that it’s without medicinal aid, but unless their getting horse steroids (which I’m pretty sure is against the law), these guys have to just be mentally strong to deal with what body breakdowns they have during the year.

- I’m incredibly amused by Timmy color coordinating his green Yankees hat to his gentle sea foam green polo shirt. I can’t help but wonder if this was an intentional decision on his part or just an “I’ll pull whatever hat I want out of the closet and roll with it” thing.

- Speaking of hats, the less said about Miller’s chapeau, the better. Male hats should not be gaudy. Ladies hats should be gaudy. Kentucky Derby hats should be gaudy. Goalie hats…not gaudy. However, I can give a thumbs up to how Miller’s skates do look like Chuck Taylors. That’s a neat look and I know it’s probably unintentional, considering the bottom of his pads are white and the white skate tips make everything very matchy-matchy.

- I’m also amused by Paul Hamilton’s peeking around the locker wall while interviewing Timmy. Every so often this little Hamilton head pops around the corner and into the frame.

- Goose still looks pissed off. Like rage-y pissed off. His voice may be calm, but his facial expression is betraying what he’s saying.

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Sabres vs. Bruins – Game 6

April 26, 2010

Pregame

- Yo, Bucky, unless you’re trying to get the team to unite AGAINST you (which my gut tells me they are already), then it might not be a good thing to imply that the their star player is a better player (and human being), now that he’s getting laid on a fairly regular basis. And that is the last I want to think about that topic. Ever.

- I would hope that the Sabres weren’t too distracted by the blessings put forth on Boobquake Day. (Seriously, I love that it’s WOMEN that are encouraging boobquake and the display of our blessings. Girl power, FTW!)

-  I’m still not sure that a gimpy Vanek is better than a 100% Stafford, but I’m a cautious sort in my daily life. And the substitution of Vanek for Stafford completely threw off my prediction from earlier today that Stafford would play an important part in tonight’s game after the change at both breakfast and lunch was 21 cents. All that was blown to hell in a handcart when I came back from Charlie the Butcher to find out that Stafford was scratched.

First Period

- I’m taking Sturm’s shorthanded shot off the crossbar as a shoutout.

- I’m beginning to think that rather than ladies and their blessings causing an earthquake, that a Sabres power play goal would cause the earth to move. For pete’s sake, our power play is dreadful.

- Miro Satan goes after Myers and RJ is incensed that Satan even goes after someone, considering he was quite a softy while in Buffalo. RJ’s indignation (“Myers is six-foot, four-thousand!”) is coupled with Rob Ray’s defense of Satan. (“It’s Game 6!”)

- Well, poop. Krejci scores from the power play in front of the net. This is the first time that the Bruins have scored first in this series. 1-0, Boston.

- There’s a large divot in the ice at the foot of the boards behind Miller. I love how the ref uses nothing fancier than Miller’s water bottle, some ice shavings and a hockey puck to fix the crevice. Simple things for simple minds over here.

- Has anyone seen Timmy or Pommers? Calling Timmy or Pommers! If you can hear me, please pick up the puck and put it in the net.

- I’m giggling like a twelve year old over the fact that an upcoming show choir on Glee is going to be named “Aural Intensity.” If the Puckerone doesn’t make a joke about the name, I will be highly disappointed.

Second Period

- Yo, Timmykins. When I was wondering where you were, I didn’t need you to make an appearance by taking a stupid penalty, leading to a power play, leading to a Boston goal. 2-0, Boston

- WHOO! Patrick Kaleta is the final Sabre on a gorgeous tic-tack-toe scheme with Kennedy and Mair after the Sabres come off another putrid power play. 2-1, Boston.

- I’m still waiting on Roy, Pommers & Connolly to show up. If you find them, please let them know they will be given clean jammies and an Oreo cookie once they do something noteworthy on the ice.

- How the hell did the Sabres power play get so putrid? Did they all forget the basic math behind a one man advantage?

Third Period

- Vomitous. The Sabres spend four minutes on the penalty kill as one of the Bruins gets high sticked and manages to bleed on command. Sabres Edge reports that the Bruins are 6 for 20 on the power play in this series. How the heck did the PK, which was previously so reliable, become so disastrous? It couldn’t have been all Jochen Hecht, could it?

- Oh eff. Krejci puts the proverbial fork in the Sabres as Derek Roy is late to cover Krejci, who puts the puck past Miller. I don’t care if it was Roy that was responsible for the goal. What the hell else has he done this series? Go ahead, think about it and get back to me. 3-1, Bruins.

- Hold the phone, Boston makes a horrible mistake and Gerbe is the benefactor, putting the puck past Rask. That Gerbe kid has spunk. The one thing we’ve learned from this series is that the little ones from Portland have talent and are leaving it all out on the ice. 3-2, Bruins.

- Pommers at least tries something off of a face off, but that doesn’t work well when the puck ends up in Rask’s glove.

- Mother of god, if I hear in the postgame the usual platitudes about the system, unfinished business and all that crap, someone will be cut.

- Mother of pearl, Satan puts the fork in the Sabres for real this time. It would have to be Satan, wouldn’t it? 4-2, Bruins.

- Did someone on the Sabres drink Jobu’s rum before the game or before any other game this series? It’s very bad to drink Jobu’s rum. I can’t think of any other reason why they were so horrible.

- Remember the series’ back in the day where two goals in two minutes at the end of the third period seemed like child’s play? I miss series like that.

- So…just as I write that, Vanek snaps the puck into the net. 4-3, Bruins. (I vote that this is too little too late.)

- I suppose it’s a good thing that I won’t be a twitchy beeyotch on my trips to Indiana and Pittsburgh, having to worry about what the Sabres are up to. I’ll catch playoff hockey when I can, but I’m not going to hurt myself trying to find out what’s going on. Then again, maybe hockey will have to be a distraction when my family is driving me up a bleeping wall.

- Some of the interesting things from the handshake line:

  • Miller standing at center ice, the first Sabre on the line, ready to greet the Bruins as his teammates were carrying on behind him. His facial expression was somewhere around “bitch, please” and “can we get this over with already? I have murder to commit in the locker room.” (It was Crunchy in the locker room with the goalie pads. Thighs of steel and all that jazz. Heh.) And really, I’m so disappointed FOR him. When a team that he was with for seven months has a shittier result than a team he was with for two weeks, I call foul. The silver medal wasn’t supposed to be the highlight of his season. I know he still has a pretty good shot at picking up the Vezina, but I know that’s not the piece of silver he was referring to in his earlier comments about playing for silver.
  • Paille seemed to be getting a lot of extra hugs from his teammates.
  • What the heck was up with Chara hugging all of the Sabres? He seems to genuinely like these guys.

-I’m now looking for a new Eastern Conference playoff boyfriend. I like Pittsburgh. Sid is infinitely more tolerable that that dude in Washington and Jay McKee and his shot blocking skills are pretty awesome. On the other hand, Boston did beat the Sabres, but that’s a raw wound. And on the third hand, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so I could always just root for whomever is playing Boston? Meh. I’ll think about it. I need a nap. And a cookie.

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Sabres vs. Bruins – Game 5

April 23, 2010

- Ryan Miller’s new ‘stache is joining Bradley Whitford’s new ‘stache on my “things that are incredibly creepy” list. But hey, if it changes the team’s juju, then I’m all for it.

- Praise the lord and pass the ammunition…Adam Mair gets the Sabres out to an early lead on a Mairsy-around that Rask probably wishes he had back. This is the first time I’ve seen the crowd in the plaza today and I have to commend my fellow Buffalonians for showing up, even in the face of elimination.

- I’m kind of creeped out by the reports of Blake Wheeler’s man crush on Thomas Vanek. If Wheeler was a woman, we’d be warning the Vanek family to keep an eye on the family rabbit lest it be boiled by a crazy person.

- The Sabres have scored first in all five games of this series. That’s your fun stat of the night.

- Harry Neale: “Derek Roy couldn’t get out fast enough.” That’s what she said.

- WHOOO! Pommers increases the population of Pominville and gives the Sabres their fourth 2-0 lead of the series. Oy. And in other news, for the second time tonight, I misidentify a Sabre as Derek Roy. Why am I fixated on Roy-Z tonight? I’d like to apologize to Mair and Pommers for erroneously labeling them as the short and dive-y one.

- How sad is what’s happening to Bret Michaels? I had read about his situation before  I left the office and while I was toodling along home, Star started playing “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” (which we all know is not the usual “Star Music”), so I immediately thought he was no longer with us. Best wishes to he and his family while they’re going through this. (On a related note, his appearance on Celebrity Apprentice has proven that he isn’t the vapid skirt chaser that Rock of Love showed him as.)

- The Sabres third goal was quite possibly the perfect play. Gaustad has a dominant face off win, and gets the puck to a wide open Grier who whistles it past Rask. It was just gorgeous.

- I see that RJ has picked up on my mistaking anyone and everyone wearing blue for Derek Roy, as he mislabels Toni Lydman as Derek Roy.

- I love that Dierdre Martin’s new book is coming out in time for my road trip. Hurrah for in-car reading material!

- Nice to see that CJ Spiller is being introduced to life in Buffalo by appearing at tonight’s game. However, how dazed and confused did he look when the camera panned over to him? He’s got to be running on fumes and/or adrenalin at this point.

- Holy Jeebus, Grier takes a Wideman slapper right to the head and drops like a rock. His teammates immediately rush to him after the whistle and Miller is down on all fours talking to him. Again, I reiterate my utter amazement over the fact that these guys willingly dive in front of a speeding frozen rubber disk when the normal human reaction is to, oh I don’t know, get the eff out of the way.

- My curiousity is still piqued as to why exactly the Devils had jelly on their postgame spread. Do they have a PB&J bar? Toast? Saltines & jelly? A make your own jelly donut station? Inquiring minds want to know. And that jelly must have been one hell of a mess for some poor locker room attendant to clean up.

- Boychuk scores with two-and-a-half minutes left in the game. 3-1, Buffalo.

- Game, set, match as Tennis the Menace makes a diving poke check into an empty net. 4-1, Sabres.

- I’m tempering the excitement I feel right now with the knowledge that the wheels can fall off the wagon on Monday night.

- Best ending to a game, ever. Chara and Gaustad start going at it and then everyone piles in, including Miller, who gets a few shots (and a nice face wash) in on Satan. Miller must be at his wits end if he’s diving into scraps like that. Did anyone else notice Lalime gesticulating on the bench while all that was going on, and Lindy standing in the door of the bench making sure no one pulls a groin or breaks a goalie. With how close he was standing to the edge of the bench, I half expected him to come charging in and start throwing bodies around, like teachers do with scrapping kids on the playground. Either that, or he was swearing at his Vezina-nominated goalie to stop fucking around before he gets hurt.

- And just when I think Cranky Ryan is the highlight of the night, after the horn blows, Patty Lalime starts dancing around on the ice. Is he auditioning for a role on Dancing With the Stars? (Because how awesome would a hockey player be on DWTS? I know that the current hockey schedule doesn’t allow an active player to participate (like Ochocinco is now), but why can’t a nice retired player participate?

- Finally, how awesome (and adorable) is this video?

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An Open Letter

April 22, 2010

Dear Ryan,

Thank you for playing your scrawny little bum off last night. Your effort was definitely appreciated by those of us at home who were glued to our sets watching, and our computers/phones talking, pepping each other up and then consoling each other. I know that our words don’t mean much, but really, you were the reason that the Sabres were even able to hang on as long as they did. I know you probably want the final two Bruins goals back (and quite frankly so do I), but that won’t happen. So pick your chin up and know that the fans are behind you. And if you wanted to cut a teammate or two between now and then, I think most of us might look the other way.

Dear Steve,

Keep up the good work. You pleasantly surprised me.

Dear Lil Timmy,

It was great to see you get the monkey off your back by scoring that first Sabres goal, but you still seemed to be moved off the puck rather easily. I don’t get it. Don’t let the big bad Bruins intimidate you.

Dear Drew,

Sigh. I strongly encourage you to spend some time with Count Von Count if only to reinforce that there are five! five! hockey players allowed on the ice at any one given time. I know you were probably tired and hungry, but that’s no excuse.

Dear RJ,

I’d like to add “nipple” to the list of words that are banned from Sabres broadcasts. It should join “diddle” on the permanent injured reserve.

Dear Fellow Fans,

If Friday is the last game, lets at least be classy and send the boys out with some dignity, eh?

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Buffalo vs. Boston – Game 3

April 19, 2010

- Before we head into hockey coverage, has anyone ever wondered what a mascot does all day? Well, Maxim shadowed Mr. Met for a day, (note: slightly NSFW) and it turns out life isn’t all wood carving in the dugout.

- We’re treated to a skim down the bench and the lineup on the blue line, and it appears some of the Sabres are definitely better at growing playoff beards than others. The wee baby Tylers appear to be fresh faced, but the fact that they both have blond hair might be counting against them. Miller is rocking a pretty good beard, and Gaustad has a good start to one already. On a random note, does Timmy stop shaving his head for the playoffs, leading to curly headed Timmy, or is the beard it.

- Miller has had some fantastic stops early in the game.

- So looks like that internet rumor regarding the Sabres wearing the old home whites was fake after all.

- WHOO! Mike Grier! Mike Effing Grier scores over Tuuka’s shoulder. 1-0, Sabres.

- Well, eff. Sekera gets caught in a pinch gone wrong and Wideman scores a dandy of a goal on the ensuing odd-man rush. We’re tied at one.

- After hearing for the past week and a half that tonight’s game was going to be on Versus, I tune like a good little NHL fan to Versus, only to find out that the game is blacked out locally and we’re stuck watching the game on MSG. In this case, the good of RJ, Harry, Rob Ray & K-Syl are slightly outweighed by the bad of an SD broadcast. Is it really that difficult to “borrow” the Versus HD feed and lay RJ & Harry’s vocals over it?

- Ellis gets caught by Boychuk with his head down and is smushed pretty hard core. Why haven’t one of the pansy Sabres hit Boychuk with his purse yet? If they’re in need of a purse, I can lend them one. My Vera Bradley satchel has enough stuff in it that could cause some serious damage.

- Lindy’s expression on the bench is a combination of “I hate these guys” and ” I’m going to cut someone.” I fear for the locker room.

- I’m beginning to think Timmy fell down the well, what with how absent he’s been from games lately. Speaking of Timmykins, I really want to know why “Tim Connolly K-Mart” is one of Google’s suggestions when you type “Tim Connolly” into the search box.

- Ellis is back on the ice after that killer hit from Boychuk. Good, but that still doesn’t excuse his teammates for not doing anything after Boychuk took out his second player. Is it going to take Miller getting run…oh wait, that happened last year and nothing happened.  Maybe Sabretooth getting run over would snap them out of it.

- Random: why do so many people insist on placing an “s” on the end of the word “math?” As in, “I have to do my maths homework?” And while I’m on my grammar soapbox, there is a slight difference between the words “breath” and “breathe.” They are not interchangeable.

- Remember when the Sabres had offensive firepower? Remember when they didn’t make you want to bang your head against a wall? Remember when hockey was fun?

- Wait, The Hoff is going to be on The Young & Restless again? Crikey, I hope that CBS has some extra money saved up to replace all the scenery chewing that The Hoff and Eric Braeden are going to be doing. You can tell I’m not paying much attention to the game if I’m reading Entertainment Weekly, heh.

- Alrighty then, Bergeron scores to make it 2-1, Boston.

- Remember when Ryan Miller wasn’t trying to do it all and was a sturdy rock in the crease? Remember when the rest of the Sabres played with passion and fire? Remember the fun that was Game 1? Remember when I wasn’t writing “Remember Whens?” (That last one actually was a “Remember When…” in my high school yearbook.)

- Well, friends. If it turns out there’s only two more games left in the season, what can you say? I’ll come up with words when they come up WITH A FULL 60 MINUTE EFFORT! I’ll even bet that we’ll hear the same platitudes after the game from the same usual suspects. And really, these same platitudes have been delivered so often that I’d be willing to bet that most of us can deliver them verbatim. (Although we might lack Ryan Miller’s eloquence and bitch please, eyebrow.)

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Sabres vs. Bruins – Game 2 Thoughts

April 17, 2010

- If you haven’t already, go read Sully’s column from today’s Buffalo News. It really explains the pride in the city and pride in our hockey team that we all have. (Note:  just because we bitch about both, doesn’t mean we still don’t love both.) Also, the fact that I enjoyed both a Sully column and a Bucky column this week totally means that the apocalypse is nigh, right? Or do I have to attend Blogger Confession to confess my sin of liking something produced by the mainstream media?

- Thank you NBC for giving us that up close and personal glimpse of Ryan Miller in the Sabres locker room. I had no idea that the goalies had to kneel down to put their pads on and to get them adjusted.

- This HD feed still has that feeling of coming out of a dirty fishbowl. Or maybe Sandra Lee’s camera crew (they of the over vaselined and blurry lenses) is producing today’s game.

- Darren Pang is tasked with interviewing Myers and clearly is standing on a box while doing so, as he comes up to the numbers on Myers’ shoulder. Panger’s assist is clearly revealed when he is interviewing Rivet on the ice and is much, much shorter than the captain.While Panger is interviewing Rivet, they’re both blocking the bench door as players are trying to get onto the bench for the start of the game. I kept waiting for someone to say “move out of the way, assholes.”

- Ryan Miller…East Lansing…Drink.

- WHOOOOO! Boston completely melts down, as Milan Lucic tries to double team another Sabre, thus leaving Myers with a wide open shot at the net. Myers’ blast is deflected by Begin right into the net. That’s a WHOO! for Buffalo and an “OOOPS” for Boston. 1-0, Sabres.

- Doc: “Claude Julien realizes this is not going well.”  / Me: “Understatement of the year.”

- WHOOO! Matt Ellis scores on the backhand as Rask completely whiffs on the shot. He was too far over to the short side on the shot. 2-0, Sabres.

- Dude. Boychuk whacks the ever loving shit out of Vanek’s knee, causing Vanek to go down awkwardly and hobble towards the bench. That’s…not good. Really, not good. If this a long term injury, then I’ll just get my “fuck hell kitten mittens” out of the way now. (Thanks to Nooie at IPB for that new phrase.)

- The period ends with Chara depositing Ennis ass over tits into the Boston bench. It takes a real man to hit a wee little child like that at the end of a period while down two goals. (Disclaimer: I love Chara off the ice due to his work with Right to Play, but in this series, I think he’s a chicken shit instigator hiding behind his cage.)

- Lindy Ruff is the longest tenured head coach in the NHL….DRINK.

- Oh, poop. Boston scores as Miller’s deflection of the puck goes up and into the net. 2-1, Sabres.

- Doc: “The Sabres have got the bangers in here now.” / Me: “That’s what she said.”

- It’s a lower body injury for Vanek and he won’t be back this afternoon. That’s a “thank you, Captain Obvious” injury declaration if I ever heard one, considering WE ALL SAW THE CHOP TO THE KNEE! However, @BNHarrington has a good point on Sabres Edge: the slash is to the right leg, but Vanek left the ice favoring the left leg. So I guess my righteous indignation can be tempered slightly, since it seems like it was the fall that did the damage and not the stick whomp.

– This second period has been particularly brutal by the Sabres, and as I’m writing that, effing Chara goes and scores. The game is now tied at two.

- WHOOOO! Pommers adds another one to the brood. Lucic isn’t having a good game today as his giveaway leads to Pommers goal. 3-2, Sabres.

- Michael Ryder and Andrew Ference collide just inside the Sabres blueline. Both are alright, but they really should look where they’re going next time.

- Son of a…the Sabres miss a pass in the Boston zone leading to a four-on-two. Not only are the Sabres undermanned in the zone, but Miller is way out of the net. We’re tied at 3.

- Chara flicks a wrister from the corner of the blue line and it gets passed a screened Miller. 4-3, Boston.

- I know the Sabres are 32-0 when leading after two periods, but the odds appear to have caught up with the Sabres. Or maybe the afternoon start has thrown all the Sabres off their game? Are they pissed that pizza and wings were vetoed as the dinner choice here at SOTC Estates?  Who knows, except I don’t like where this is going.

- Wait, Sean from the Real World Boston and Rachel from the Real World San Fransisco have six(!) kids together and he’s running for Congress? And now I have faith that Real World alum are actually doing something productive with their lives instead of going on their umpteenth challenge show where they proceed to do nothing but get drunk and screw.

- Greer gets in on a breakaway but misses. If he would have made that shot, I predict that there would have been a statue erected to him in the plaza by the fans.

- Panger reports that Lindy was standing on top of the bench and hollering and whistling to get Miller onto the bench. Does Lindy use something simple like “move your ass” or does he just start yelling “Miller, Miller,” or is there a super secret code (“Here Crunchy, Crunchy, Crunchy…”)?

- Well, poop. But at least the rest of the Eastern Conference series (with the exception of Washington/Montreal) are tied at one. I’d feel better going into Boston with a 2-0 series lead, but it is what it is. I almost wish there was a postgame show on NBC for this one, since I’d love to hear Lindy’s presser and the players comments, but I’ll read about them later.

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Sabres vs. Bruins, Game 1 – ITS THE PLAYOFFS, MY FRIENDS!!

April 15, 2010

- It’s playoff time! It’s playoff time! I could not wait for the workday to end and for this game to start. As Emerson, Lake & Palmer once said, “welcome back my friends to the show that never ends.”

- Dad and I are playing spot the new dasher board advertisers: so far, we’ve spotted 84 Lumber and Local Edge. We both agree that “Sobotka” (the Boston player) sounds like it should be the name of a former Soviet Republic.

- The HSBC crowd is one of the loudest I’ve heard in the past couple of seasons. There’s been a couple “Let’s Go Buffalo” and “Tuuuuka” chants echoing into my living room. Who knew all it took was a playoff appearance to make the fans here in Buffalo wake up.

- WHOOO! Roy-Z makes a sweet drop pass to Vanek who whistles it past Rask. 1-0, Sabres.

- Mair heads to the dressing room after getting whomped on in the corner. Crack sideline reporter Rob Ray reports that Mair was favoring his shoulder and both the doctor and the trainer followed him down. I guess the bionic shoulder replacement went quicker than the experts thought it would, as Mair is back on the ice after a few minutes.

- Can someone get Tyler Myers a glass of warm milk or cut down on his pre-game sugar & caffeine consumption? He’s awfully jittery tonight. I know some of that is rookie nerves, and that he’ll grow out of it, but it is noticeable here in the cheap seats.

- Vanek and Chara get tangled up as they both try to leave the Buffalo zone. Vanek was in between Chara’s legs and I would have loved to have seen Vanek just flip the giant over. It totally would have been something out of the WWE and definitely would have been a penalty, but it would have been worth it.

- Oh goody, someone brought a horn into the arena. Now we can hear honk honk honkhonkhonk all night long.

- OMG. These past three minutes have been amazing. Chara crushed Kaleta off to the side and there was a delayed penalty call. Meanwhile, Lucic drops the stick and gloves and starts going after Lydman, who wants no part of it (he’s a lover, not a fighter). Somehow, everyone makes a friend to tangle up with and we get SO CLOSE to the line brawl that Miller discussed in his pregame interviews. By the time all is said and done (and four Sabres are in the penalty box), the Sabres are on the power play. The cherry on this little sundae is Sabretooth shaking his moneymaker in front of the crowded Boston penalty box.

- Someone is going to have to tell Ennis just to shoot the effing puck. He’s trying too hard to make the perfect play rather than just going for it and seeing what develops. As that old cliche says, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

- So apparently Chara escaped the penalty box too early and is escorted back. RJ and Harry say someone screwed up and let him out too early, since it’s not like he just busted the door down and said “I’m Out of Here.” Although it might have been a much better story had he busted out and we saw a little penalty box door hanging by a hinge and some poor timekeeper looking like he’s been run over by a herd of wildebeests.

- Oh poop. Recchi scores as Pommers gets tied up in front of the net and can’t clear the puck. We’re tied at 1.

- Oh! Captain, My Captain! Tim Kennedy finds Rivet slipping into the Boston zone and he bounces one over Rask’s shoulder. 2-1, Sabres.

- Harry Neale keeps saying that Kaleta doesn’t want to fight because of the cast on his hand. How many times do we have to go over this? He CAN’T fight because of the cast on his hand. If he did fight, he’d have a wonderful meeting with Colie Campbell and be parked for a couple games. Are we all clear?

- This has been a great game, but it’s only 9pm and I’m already yawning. How in the bluedilly heck am I going to make it through the postgame and at least some of the Canucks game if I’m already sleepy? There needs to be a fan training camp for getting your body acclimated for the playoffs.

- Miller gets shoved into his net by Krejci and there’s a meeting of the minds behind the net, with the Sabres players expressing their displeasure at how Miller was treated. I’ve noticed tonight that the Sabres are definitely more expressive with regards to how Miller can and cannot be treated.

- RJ: “Vanek couldn’t get good wood on it…” THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! (Oh, come on. What’s a blog entry without a litle TWSS among friends?)

- The Party in the Plaza clips that have been shown during the game are impressive. It’s great to see so many hockey crazy Sabres fans all in one space and kudos to the Sabres for setting it up and allowing as many Sabres fans as possible to participate in the game experience.

- WHEE! Buffalo wins 2-1, and takes a 1-0 lead in the series. Montador and Lalime crack me up during the postgame celebration line as they do some sort of wacky fist bump sequence.

- So that’s all for now. See you Saturday afternoon for Game 2.

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Playoff Predictions and Thoughts – Round 1

April 13, 2010

If you’re looking for factual, statistical analysis, you’ve come to the wrong place. This post is going to be based on nothing but what my murky crystal ball and tralalalafeelingbits tea leaves say.

Let’s start with the East (with my east coast bias and all)

#1 Washington vs. #8 Montreal

I’d love to see Montreal upset the Caps. Seeing Ovie go home with his tail between his legs would make me so happy. I cannot stand the way the media fawns over him like he’s the second coming. And I don’t like his style of play. Sure, he’s aggressive, but at times he’s often reckless ( just ask Brian Campbell). Sure, Montreal has noted Crunchy breaker Scott Gomez, but Gomez’s transgressions do not match up to Ovechkin’s. If we look at fanbases, sure Montreal fans can be annoying (that damn “Ole” song) and have a tendency to act like they’ve never been there before (rioting after the first round a couple years ago), but it sure beats whining and calling other fanbases classless because they haven’t drunk the Kool-Aid and see your star player as the league’s lord and savior.

On the positive side of things, Montreal kicks Washington‘s ass in the mascot department. Youppi just rocks. The Habs saved Youppi from being sent to a farm in rurual Quebec, for pete’s sake! It’s a mascot rebirth and a well deserved second life for an awesome character. If you need a giggle, go to the Habs site and make Youppi dance and cheer. Hilarious.

All of that said, unless Montreal pulls off a miracle (or Washington gets too cocky), I think the Caps will win in 6.

#2 New Jersey vs. #7 Philadelphia

Judging from what I know about the Devils from reading Interchangeable Parts, I should be running far far away from picking the Devils in this series. But hello, they’re playing the Flyers. The Flyers were the ones whose management was forced to sign Chris Pronger so that a grownup would be in the room. Their captain held a media blackout because he didn’t like what the media was saying about him. And for some reason this season, they appear to be cursed by the ghost of Pelle Lindburgh, as Flyers goalies were dropping like flies in the latter portion of the season. (Admit it, you all thought the Flyers would have to put an orange construction pylon in the crease at some point.) And while Brodeur has his moments, Brodeur trumps Boucher.And if the Devils offense pulls their collective heads out of their collective arses, they could be dangerous.

In the battle of the mascots, New Jersey wins by default, since Philly doesn’t have a formal mascot. And NJ Devil still trumps Philly’s unofficial mascot of asshole fans.

Prediction: Devils in 7, but Pronger makes a stupid, useless and injurious gesture at some point.

#3 Buffalo vs. #6 Boston

This matchup seems to be the one that the professionals think has the biggest chance of garnering an upset. Goaltending in this series is a push, as Miller/Lalime cancel out Rask/Thomas, unless Thomas becomes sieve-like, then the advantage swings towards the Sabres. The Bruins were last in the league in scoring, but were deadly when it came to penalty killing (you all heard about the three shorties on one power play on Saturday). The Sabres defense is killer, when it’s not having it’s moments (Yes, Rivet and Sekera/Butler, I’m looking at you three). The Sabres have some slight injury problems, as Stafford, Hecht and Connolly all are members of the walking wounded. But the kids called up from Portland have done so much more than be a band aid over the bullet hole of their absence.

In the battle of the mascots, it’s a close battle between Sabretooth and Blades. While Blades has a kickass series of commercials, Sabretooth is on Twitter. How he manages to tweet with those large furry paws, I still do not know. I have trouble navigating Twitter on my iPod touch and I have normal sized fingers. While Sabretooth has his own house, Blades has his own biography on the Bruins website. But you know what pushed Sabretooth over the edge here? The fact that Sabretooth rumbled with the Geico gecko. I presume the tiger won. Heh.

Prediction: Sabres in 6. (Because when a sabretooth battles a bear, the ‘tooth wins every time.)

#4 Pittsburgh vs. #5 Ottawa

Is there any doubt that I’d love to see Pittsburgh win this one? Crosby and Malkin trump Alfredsson and Spezza. And Ottawa has Chris Neil, who never met a dirty hit, play or turtle that he didn’t like. Pittsburgh also gets hockey and doesn’t hokey it up too much, ahem Ottawa.

In the battle of mascots, Spartacat trumps Iceburgh…even though the cat is in good need of a mane trim.

Prediction; Pens in 5.

And now onto the Western Conference…

#1 San Jose vs. #8 Colorado

A notorious playoff choker versus an eighth seed? Push.

That said, I think San Jose is going to overwhelm the Avs. Something tells me this is the year they throw off the mantle of playoff choker.

In mascot land, Bernie the St. Bernard is much warmer and fuzzier than SJ Sharkie. If you were a kid, would you rather have a cute & cuddly St. Bernard give you a hug or a Jaws wannabe?

Prediction: Sharks in 6.

#2 Chicago vs. #7 Nashville

I’d love to see the Predators go far in the playoffs in order to see JP Dumont’s playoff beard develop into it’s full lumberjack beard. In my opinion, I feel like this series might be the one with the biggest upset potential if Nashville can find a way to manage Chicago’s offensive firepower. However, I have a soft spot for Chicago thanks to some lovely ladies on Twitter, and the Hawks addicting goal song got me to go out and buy a Fratellis CD. Also, Tommy Hawk is a much more “original” mascot than Nashville’s Sabretooth wannabe, Gnash.

Prediction: Chicago in 6

#3 Vancouver vs. #6 Los Angeles

I have a soft spot for the Canucks. It must be from watching them on HNiC and having the Sedins and Luongo on my fantasy team, not to mention that the Canucks and the Sabres are 1970 league entry twins. Henrik Sedin and his fellow Swedish Canucks have a great scoring touch and if Luongo can stop making like a cheap hooker and keep his legs closed, the Canucks can go far. And the Canucks also have Ryan Kesler, the player whom I most wish Miller would have smuggled home from Vancouver in his suitcase. His gritty determined style is exactly what is needed in the playoffs.

On the mascot side of things, Fin the Whale can’t hold a candle to Bailey the Lion. To be perfectly honest, Fin is kind of terrifying.

Prediction: Canucks in 6.

#4 Phoenix vs. #5 Detroit

Phoenix has got to be the people’s favorite going into these playoffs. The franchise has been through a ton this year with the ownership issues and the constant rumors of being moved here, there and everywhere. If Phoenix manages to knock off Detroit, someone will have to be standing behind Bettman with the paddles at the ready, considering a team that isn’t in a traditional hockey market knocked off the self-proclaimed “Hockeytown.” And really, it’s about time someone knocked off Detroit. I’m tired of them making it to the Cup Finals. As Herb Brooks would say, “screw ‘em.”

Prediction: Coyotes in 7.

*~*~*~*

I wish WGRZ had put the Sabres superstition video from today’s 6pm newscast on the web. The video contained Rip Simonick explaining how previous players had their own little rituals (personal ashtrays, riding to the rink with your right winger on the passenger side of the car, etc) and the current Sabres denying that they have “superstitions,” just “habits.” Hearing about the former Sabres superstitions was neat, and I would have loved to have heard more from Simonick. However, did Channel 2 expect to have the Sabres fully explain their superstitions/habits/rituals? The Sabres know enough to not reveal information that would make them appear completely effing insane to the average person watching the 6pm news (you know, the ones that might not know that sometimes hockey players can be completely crazy about things like that).

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Sabres vs. Devils – The Last One

April 11, 2010

Dear Marty Brodeur,

It’s very impolite to punch Paul Gaustad in the head. What has he ever done to you? I never want to see that look of absolute WTF-ery on Goose’s face ever again, so please try and be nicer next time.

Dear Roy-Z

There are better ways to get sent to the locker room than pretending to be hurt. Don’t give the fanbase unnecessary heart attacks, please.

Dear Dixie Carter,

Thank you for your excellent portrayal of a kickass, strong female character. You will be missed.

Dear Flyers,

I rooted for you today, since rooting for the Rangers goes against all that is good and holy. Now that you’re in the playoffs, I’m going to go back to rooting against you. No hard feelings and such.

Dear Rangers,

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Please tell me what time the pity party starts at MSG tomorrow.

Dear Boston,

Good to see you again, my friend. Here’s to a good clean playoff series, where hopefully Tyler Ennis or Nathan Gerbe can skate through Chara’s legs for a goal.

Dear Devils,

Enjoy the Flyers.

*~*~*~*

This blog entry was about as inspiring as this Sabres/Devils game was. A rock, paper, scissors match at center ice would have been more entertaining. Catch me later in the week for some playoff breakdowns.

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