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Crazy Bout a Sharp Dressed Man OR SOTC’s Recap of the NHL Awards

June 23, 2010

-  I f’love this photo of Mr. Miller. The man can wear a suit. And cock an eyebrow like no one’s business. When he has kids, that speculative eyebrow is going to be one heck of a parenting tool.

- I hit a dead link on NHL.com earlier, and this was the error message I received: This page may have moved, is no longer available, is in the penalty box, or we have a problem with our web site, sorry.

Cute, NHL. Very cute. I mean that in a good way.

- The show opens with a performance by Snoop Dogg. I know when I think of the link between NHL & music, Snoop is the first artist that comes to mind. Snoop’s performance is backed up by a montage of great hits and plays from this past season. Travis Barker appears to be backing Snoop up on the drums. Whatevs.

- Jay Mohr’s monologue makes a “Phoenix Coyotes as booby prize” joke within the first minute-and-a-half. That’s excellent. I also enjoyed his comment about Ovie going off into the Pacific Northwest to scare some campers. Crosby must have his laugh chip installed tonight, as he was cracking up at Mohr’s joke about two minutes in the box not meaning what you think it means when dealing with a lady of the evening in Vegas. Sadly, this monologue is the high point of the night for Mohr.

- The first award of the night is the Calder award, given to the NHL’s Rookie of the Year. Mom speculates that this is the first award because all of the little ones have to go to bed early. Tyler Myers is the winner. Yay! He endearingly pulls out a sheet of paper (8.5 x 11, typed, double sided) to give his acceptance speech. Aww. Myers speech focusing on thanking his friends, family, the WHL, Hockey Canada, the Sabres coaches & management & his teammates. What a sweetie.

- In the “water is wet and puppies are cute” moment, Pavel Datsyuk wins the Selke Award. His speech is borderline hilarious, but his pink shirt and tie combo is the scene stealer.

- Ooh, I just noticed that the banners hanging above the stage change to the number of whatever player is winning the award. Nice touch, NHL.

- Hank Sedin is presented his Art Ross trophy on the red carpet. You read that right. We’re now presenting awards outside and showing them on videotape.

- Patrick Sharp and Pat Kane are off to the side being interviewed by the resident roving reporter, and Kane has his arms wrapped around a Playboy bunny. Oh Pat, you’re so suave. :::roll eyes:::

- Cirque du Soleil Beatles edition performs one of the numbers from their show. Think one of these guys would like to be a backup goalie? They look kind of bendy, and you never know when the opportunity to do a back handspring while breakdancing could come in handy on a killer penalty kill. All joking aside, I’d love to see the Beatles Cirque show in Vegas, but this bathroom renovation has tapped me out for a good long time, so no Vegas for me.

- Ron MacLean and Ted Lindsay present the Ted Lindsay award, which is given to the best player as voted on by his peers. It’s like a badass version of the Miss Congenialty award. Ovechkin wins the award, but, in the words of @LindyRuffsTie, WEAR A TIE YA BUM! Seriously Ovie, this is an awards show, not the airport lounge at McCarron as you’re flying back to Washington after visiting a trade show. My mom wants to know why you also haven’t gotten your teeth fixed yet. If Duncan Keith can get seven teeth fixed, you can have one fixed.

- Getzlaf & Bobby Ryan do this pretty hilarious skit to settle the differences between them due to Getzlaf’s superiority complex since winning gold in Vancouver. That video really needs to be put on a website somewhere for those that missed it. We know hockey players are pretty good at making fun of themselves, so hopefully the league is aware of the positive reception this video has received and starts to make more like it.

- The presentation of the Rocket Richard Trophy is also handled on the red carpet. I’m not a fan of these outside little presentations. Bring them on stage and give them their due like all the other awards.

- John Slattery presents the Jack Adams Award to Dave Tippett. Tippett gets huge, huge credit for turning a pile of sh*t in Phoenix and turning it into a playoff  making rose.

- Kudos to Versus & the league for making sure the nominee & winner names are in a large enough font on the screen to make blogging easier for us at home.

- DB Sweeney (toe pick!) and Jamie Kennedy are up next to present the Vezina award. Kennedy muffs the pronunciation of poor Vezina’s name during the schtick before the presentation. YAY! Miller wins the Vezina and gets big hugs from Brodeur and Bryzgalov. He also pulls a Tyler Myers and pulls out his speech. (Aww.) After thanking the friends, family and girlfriend, Miller thanks his teammates and even makes a special thank you to Patty Lalime. I think the little Lalime impersonation (“ipipip hey buddy” in a french accent) was probably the highlight of the speech.I really hope the league puts Miller’s speech online, since that bit was seriously adorable. Several people on Twitter are speculating that Miller’s love for Lalime tonight indicates that Lalime will be back with the Sabres next year. It might be that, but it also might be a sign of  Miller giving his buddy an ultimate shoutout after the Buffalo fanbase has thrown Lalime under the bus, driven over him, scraped him off the pavement and done it again.

Also, I like Miller’s acknowledgment that the players are going to go out and have a grand old time after the ceremony is over. I mean, it’s 6pm in Vegas when the show ends. It’s not like they’re going to hit the early bird dinner and then head into their hotel rooms to be in bed by 10. (Well, the latter part might be true. Please reference Mohr’s bit at the beginning.) They’re going to go out and live it up. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Unless you’re caught by TMZ, Deadspin or a stray blogger or tweeter, that is.

- The NHL just tweeted that Miller won the Vezina in a landslide. He had 126 votes, Bryzgalov was 2nd with 79. That’s an ass kicking of epic proportions.

- Brodeur wins the Jennings trophy in a red carpet presentation.

- Shinedown performs. I take a powder. Not my cup of tea.

- Theodore wins the Masterton award. I have to give my mother the Readers Digest condensed version of Jose’s story. It has to be heartbreaking for him to be accepting the award on what would have been the day after his son’s first birthday.

- The King Clancy award is given to Shane Doan by representatives of the US Army. Give all of them a round of applause and a standing ovation, please. Doan gives a plea for any free agents to come to Phoenix, since they’re going to be there another year. Is that tampering, or just a lighthearted plea?

- Nate Ewell, the Caps PR guy, reports on Twitter that Miller carried his Vezina into the press conference, telling the reporters that he’s not letting go, that it’s his trophy. I wish he would deposit his Vezina in the middle of the locker room on the opening day of training camp, challenging his teammates that this is not the piece of silver he wants.

- And here’s Myers with his Calder, grinning like a fool.

- Same thing with Miller and his new friend Vezina.

- Martin St. Louis wins the Lady Byng for gentlemanly play. Water wet, puppies cute. St. Louis a gentleman. NEXT!

- Crosby wins the Messier Award for leadership. I call shenanigans on this one. Crosby won the Cup last season, Mess. You shouldn’t be able to use it as justification for this year’s award. Miller was the leader of our ragtag bunch of players, carried the team on his shoulders, and wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is to either his teammates or the media. Doesn’t that count for something?

- This awards show diary is temporarily interrupted as I have to go play grumpy old lady and yell at some kids to get off my lawn and out of my flower bed. Kids these days…

- The Norris trophy is awarded to Duncan Keith. (Also, Mike Green, listen to the same advice that I gave Ovie. Wear a damn tie like a grownup.) Keith makes a crack that Ovie better keep his hands off his fiancee, as they are seated next to each other in the audience.

- Miller is presented the Foundation award on the red carpet. He wins a crystal trophy and a $25,000 check. Way to go, Ryan!

- The Goos sing their single, “Home.” Tonight’s musical performances are brought to us by Verizon. Hey Verizon, how bout taking that sponsorship money and dropping it off at Buffalo City Hall so I can get FiOS here in the city?

- Guy LaFleur presents the final award of the night, the Hart Trophy. (Random aside, I wonder if the producers of Lost used LaFleur as Sawyer’s alias as a tribute to Guy?) Henrik Sedin wins the Hart. Good. I was going to flip something if Ovie or Crosby would have won. Let’s get some new names on these trophies. Hank makes a subtle dig at his brother Daniel, saying that there’s no way Daniel can say that he is a better player than Henrik now.

- Well friends, this brings us to the end of the 2009-10 season. The draft and UFA day are ahead of us, but really, we’re heading into the doldrums of summer. Enjoy the nice weather and know that hockey is just around the corner.

One comment

  1. Ryan Miller working the hell out of the cockamamie eyebrow in that first photo. Well done.

    Kane has his arms wrapped around a Playboy bunny. Oh Pat, you’re so suave. :::roll eyes:::

    AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Between that and Miller’s speech (esp the Lalime shoutout), I almost wish I’d watched. C’est la vie. That’s what Youtube and recapping bloggers are for :):)



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