Archive for the ‘What the Honk?’ Category

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Sabres vs. Habs – 3.24.10

March 24, 2010

- I tuned into the game just after the puck dropped  (don’t look at me like that, I was watching Ina Garten) and am rewarded for my tardiness with one of the Tits Brothers scoring on Miller. Yay Team! If I may be crass for a moment, who is the little darling that forgot to keep his eyes on the Tits? Lindy obviously agrees with this analysis, as he’s spotted on the bench yelling his fool head off and turning a most unattractive shade of red. 1-0, Habs.

- RJ remarks that one of the Habs changes looks like a Chinese fire drill is going on at the bench. Heh. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if a team one day really did do a Chinese fire drill?

- I think we may have to add “drink whenever a Mike Robitaille commercial airs” to the Sabres drinking game. Between the cheese ads, rehab ads and ads discussing his nuts, Roby is all over the broadcast these days.

- Did Miller have his mask touched up? There seems to be a new blue and gold design on his forehead and the “Miller Time” on the back looks sparkled up, like he ran it through an internet blingy design template.

- Timmy takes a puck in the snout after the Tits tries to clear the puck out of the zone. I will not make a joke about Timmy being injured by some tits. This is a klassy blog run by a klassy broad. My inner 12-year-old isn’t happy that I’m moving on, but she’ll have to deal.

- Aww, Rob Ray has a friend in his little hovel tonight. It’s nice that he has company, but stinks that he’s stuck with Pierre McGuire.

- Roy-Z, honey, I get that you’re trying to “help” by playing some good solid defensive hockey, but shoving the guys in the white sweaters into your goalie isn’t helping things. In fact, it only hurts your teammates when you get a stupid penalty. Try not to do it again, sunshine. OK?

- Danny Gare’s tie would make a darling pattern for a Vera Bradley purse. Judging by the comments on Twitter, I’m one of the few people that likes his tie.

- Timmy is back on the bench to start the second period with only a small scar on the side of his nose to show for his efforts.

- So the Sabres must’ve been reading their own press about how faboo their penalty kill is and decided to march a steady stream of players to the penalty box to consistently be on the PK. That plan backfires when Kostitsyn puts his second of the night past Miller. 2-0, Habs.

- Harryism of the night: “The Sabres needed that penalty like a giraffe needs strep throat.” Um…what? Do giraffes even get strep throat?

- Because his teammates aren’t helping him that much tonight, Miller has had to be extra flail-y in net tonight. He’s flinging his body around and flapping around into some positions that would make some gorgeous snow angels if we were outside in the snow. The score doesn’t show it, but Miller is in the zone tonight.

- Ruh roh, the Buffalo bench has been warned by the refs to keep their yaps shut (or at least simmered down) for the rest of the night. Not that Lindy or the boys have ever had profane mouths. Ever. I find it hard to believe that a professional athlete would use profanity in the course of a game. They kiss their mothers with those mouths.

- I think “Goose Woos Statue, Traps Woman” might be one of the funnier headlines I’ve seen lately.

- How is it the guys finally manage to get their ish together while playing on the road but then return home and start playing like piles of puke on toast?

- What is up with all of the odd man rushes and breakaways the Sabres have given up tonight? Have they forgotten how to count? Did someone not get the memo on whether they’re playing a man-to-man or zone tonight?

- So yay, the little buttnuts (TM Katebits via Twitter) managed to score one goal when Connolly did whatever it is that he gets paid lots of money to do. Sorry I don’t have a better description, I was distracted by some Google results. 2-1, Habs.

- Holy flirking schnitt, those idiots did it again as Montador bangs away in the crease to put the puck past Price to tie the game at two with only a few seconds left on the clock. Where the hell was that desperation the rest of the game??

- The PA is playing “Apache” and while Miller is cleaning off his crease before the shootout, for a brief second, it looks like he’s skating in time to the music. I know he’s not, but it would have been hilarious had he been.

- Well eff me. The little morons actually won this thing in a shootout. I was firmly ready to put this one in the L column, but they proved me wrong. This game had that 2006 vibe to it: late comebacks, lucky bounces and some great goaltending. Someone give Miller a steak dinner, a slice of cake and a beer. He deserves it.

- Memo to the morons: you play Ottawa on Friday. This ish ain’t going to fly against them.

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What a Weekend

March 8, 2009

- So Terrell Owens is now a Buffalo Bill. Please sit back, fasten your seatbelt, make sure your tray table is in the upright position and start enjoying the ride on the Chaos Express now departing from Ralph Wilson Stadium. There is no way that this is going to end well, but we’ll all be in for a ride. After seeing what Owens did to try and destroy quarterbacks in Philly and Dallas, I really hope he doesn’t try the same thing with Edwards. I mean, Edwards is a good kid and a good quarterback. While he’s still learning, he’s at a critical point in his development. A bad season with a person like TO on the squad could do more harm than good. Hopefully, Trent will be able to tell TO to STFU if things start getting out of hand.

The cynical beeyotch in me thinks that the TO signing was nothing more than a ploy by the front office to sell tickets, as its been rumored that season ticket sales and renewals are lagging. I know the Bills needed a receiver, but I don’t think a TO type ego is needed in the locker room.

This season promises to be interesting, that’s for sure.

- I missed most of Friday night’s Sabres game as I was at a home interior decorating party. I came home in time to see the third period. All I can say is that it’s about time that Pommers woke up and put the puck in the net.

- Saturday’s game was a different story. I watched the game at Tully’s with my fellow amazing lady bloggers. While the company was fantastic, the hockey…not so much. I lost count of how many times the team missed a wide open net or shot the puck wide or just plain screwed up. While the team is only three points out of eighth place, efforts like Saturday night’s will not get them back into the playoff group. I would not be surprised if Tellqvist started on Tuesday, as Lalime looked a wee bit shaky towards the end of the Ottawa game.

- How awful was it that Kotalik learned that he was traded via a text message from Ales Hemsky welcoming him to the Oilers? Regier mentioned that the Sabres have a silence policy until the trade is fully approved by the league. I guess Kevin Lowe and the Oilers don’t have that same policy. Just another reason that Lowe probably won’t be appearing on the Sabres Christmas card list.

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News of the Weird

February 20, 2009

- So Montreal’s Tits brothers and Roman Hamrlik have been linked to a gentleman arrested last week for allegedly dealing drugs. While initial reports show that the Tits and Hamrlik were not involved with drugs, they were involved with vodka, cars and women. This is just the latest chapter of the wackiness that is the Montreal Canadiens, as reports on the net have surfaced regarding some of the younger Hab’s partying ways. While the fans in Montreal are flipping out, the rest of the league can just sit back with some popcorn and watch another Eastern Conference team spiral away. (The other candidates for the death spiral are the Pens and the Rangers. Both are redefining the term “hot mess.”)

And yes, I realize that the Sabres aren’t a bunch of choirboys, and that a quick search of the internet could find any number of incriminating photos of them. Roy-Z’s appearance on Deadspin a couple of months back is proof positive of this. However, while Buffalo manages to freak out about the Sabres, we somehow manage to have controlled freakouts.  Well, except for that little freakout last winter over Brian Campbell’s performance at the Buckin Buffalo, that is.

- A couple of weeks ago, Bucci posted a list of who he would consider worthy of enshrinement on each team’s version of Mount Rushmore. His choices for the Sabres included Hasek, Martin, Perreault and LaFontaine. I’d keep Hasek and Perreault and Martin and swap Lindy Ruff in for Pat LaFontaine. While LaFontaine is one of the good guys of the game, he spent only 6 years in a Sabres uniform. While I think that he would have spent more time with the Sabres had he not had the concussion problems, I think Lindy belongs on Rushmore more than LaFontaine does. As a lot of blogs have put it, Lindy’s a true Sabre. He played nine years for the organization and served as captain for almost three. In addition, he’s been the team’s coach for 12 years and is the longest tenured coach in the league. He’s spent almost half his life working in some capacity for the Blue and Gold. He’s led the team to a Stanley Cup final, three Conference finals and a President’s Trophy. He’s one of the key faces of the organization, and is beloved by both fans and players alike.

First runner up would be RJ, with Ted Darling a close second.

Discuss.

- Something tells me Father Cooke and the rest of the good Jesuits aren’t going to take this news very well. When I saw the story on the Channel 2 News, I just about snorted a Runt out my nose when I read a reader’s comment that Canisius wasn’t a Catholic college, but a Jesuit one. The stupidity, it astounds me.

- And shut up, Hilary Duff. Faye Dunaway can act circles around you. Please to be enjoying your time in Ottawa with Mr. Comrie.

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Sabres for Sale?!

December 8, 2008

And not in the good way like at a bachelor auction or other charitable fundraiser that would allow each of us to take home our very own Sabre.

WGR is reporting that the Sabres are for sale.

Is Mr. G. looking to dump the team now that he’s made a profit on them?

Is Balsille the interested buyer?

Should Buffalo commence panicking? (I can answer this one. The answer is yes. Have you ever met a Buffalonian that doesn’t go from Zero to Panic in less than 3.2 seconds?)

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Double You. Tee. Eff. Sabres? Double You Tee Eff.

November 20, 2008

- I go out of town for 24 hours and the wheels manage to completely fall off the Sabres wagon. What the hell? Since I didn’t get to see any of the game due to not arriving in Albany until 9:30pm and having a stupid fucking hotel internet connection that wouldn’t cooperate, I had no idea what happened to the Sabres last night other than what pithy information was contained on the ESPN ticker. I could watch the entire end of the Rangers game on the hotel TV, but darned if I knew anything about the Sabres other than Vanek scoring two goals and Pommers adding another one.

(By the way, the Rangers losing did make me feel a little bit better. Or maybe I was still on the food high from the pork chops I had for dinner. Seriously, these pork chops were amazing. They were grilled chops, then topped with mashed sweet potatoes and broiled for a second or two, and then the whole thing was drizzled with a warm apple glaze. They were absolutely amazing.)

Anyway, I come back to Buffalo today to find out that the wheels came off the wagon on all fronts. Hank had his ass nailed to the bench after a bad giveaway, Miller got pulled and Lindy’s seething.

So to them I saw Double You Tee Eff Sabres. Double You Tee Eff. You went from a fantastic start to giving up roughly eighty bajillion goals in your past three games. Did you suddenly forget how to play defense? Goal? Offense? Is The System still on holiday in Acapulco? Why do you now suddenly suck so bad?

But at least someone is realizing that its on the 23 guys in the room to fix whatever the heck is wrong on the Sabres.

We have to fix this,” Gaustad said. “The coaches are putting in game plans that are the right ones. We just have to execute. It’s the players in the locker room right now.

Yay! Self-awareness! But the real question is what they will do about it?

Lindy’s quote discussing Timmy’s injury is vaguely unvague.

“It’s an injury that I don’t want to explain,” Ruff said. “It’s a tough one, and I don’t want to explain it. I give him a lot of credit for muscling his way through one game. If it was a groin injury, I’d tell you a groin because nobody’s going to go after his groin. If it’s an injury where I really think somebody could target, you don’t say anything.

I’m still voting for disassociated man boob. The chest is definitely a targetable area of the body. A well-placed elbow or stick can really do some damage.

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Whod’ve Thunk It?

August 26, 2008

- In today’s paper, Bucky fulfills his yearly quota of writing a column that I actually agree with. I fully expect antagonistic Bucky to return any day now.

- I had to stop at Wegmans this morning, and as I was checking out, the woman behind me was gloating to the cashier about one of the items she purchased: pancake batter in a can. The batter came in a container similar to what Reddi Whip comes in. Tell me, is it really that difficult to whip up some Bisquick and some other ingredients to make pancakes? Is it really more cost efficient to buy Pancakes in a Can? (The can was over $5. I couldn’t see how many servings it had, but I doubt that you could get more than one meal out of the can.) How long until Sandra Lee uses this product on her show and pronounces it the greatest thing since sliced white bread? Or she’ll get it mixed up with her Reddi Whip during cocktail time and chaos will then ensue.

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We Are Not Deadbeats

July 8, 2008

The Sabres have been the MSM/blogosphere whipping boy for the last year now (this blog included.) Waaah! Briere and Drury weren’t signed. Waaah! Teppo has been suspended by the heartless bastards. Waaaah my nachos are cold. Waaaaah! I fell off the team’s Christmas card list.

The point is, while some of the whining has been justified, the team has taken several steps to right some of the wrongs. Then, Greg W at Puck Daddy writes a column where he calls the Sabres one of the ten least desirable teams in the league for free agents. While that may be a perception, its downright insulting to those players that have chosen to re-sign with the Sabres when their contracts are up. I have no doubt that Jochen, Roy-Z, Goose and the rest of the recently re-signed gang could have gotten better money from other teams, but instead, they chose to re-sign with the team. Why is this so? I don’t buy that there’s something in the locker room water that caused these guys to want to magically re-up with the team. Is it the area? Our cheap standard of living? Is it a combination?

While it may be difficult to get FA’s here via their own volition, look at how many times players that have been sent here through trades end up loving the area? Stu Barnes was downright brokenhearted to be leaving when he was traded to Dallas. Jim Lorentz still lives in the area (when he’s not off in remote parts of Canada fishing.) Mike Foligno sent two of his kids to college up here. (Ask me about the time he showed up to daughter #1’s Orientation and the fellow parents went nuts.)

Time out:

Brian Engblom (and his hair) played for the Sabres? Holy hell.

Time in.

Grant Ledyard is currently the head coach of the Junior Sabres. Pat LaFontaine still is active in the community through his charity work.

The point is, it may take awhile to fall in love with the Sabres, and the Buffalo area. But I tend to think of us as a hidden gem. We may look scruffy and nasty to the rest of the world, but give us a bath and polish us up, and we’re a pretty good place.

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