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What I’ve Learned

January 20, 2010

After watching last nights Ducks/Sabres game, this is what I’ve learned…

– Ryan Miller was apparently the first goaltender to visit the moon. He also apparently can defy all known knowledge of the moon and still be alive without having an oxygen mask over his face. The Ducks win the award for most ridiculous graphic ever used during a hockey game.

– The Ducks and the Sabres both have someone named “Ryan” playing for Team USA next month. Their Ryan (Bobby) says that our Ryan  (Miller) is really good and carrying our team. I’ll co-sign on the former, but disagree slightly with the latter. Last night did show the Sabres being somewhat bailed out by Miller’s calming kickass presence. But normally, his brilliant play is offset by a balanced scoring attack.

– Ooops. Getzi’s nose fell off thanks to his own teammate. And that poor ice girl having to clean off Getzi’s trail of blood. Ew.

– The Ducks apparently like to give food away to their fans. They can get free wings at Hooters with a five goal Ducks night and free cheesy-bread something or other if there’s a Ducks power play goal. And the amount of cheese on that cheesy bread was obscene. It would be like having a block of cheese sitting in your stomach. Yum-O, as Rachel Ray would say.

– The Anaheim broadcasters were brutal. I know I’m spoiled by RJ & Harry, and even K-Syl and Paul Hamilton, but Center Ice has shown me that there’s a lot of good broadcasters out there. The Ducks…not one of them. Did they even acknowledge that they were being seen in Buffalo tonight? Hell, did they even know? You would think that if they knew, they would be less likely to look like a bunch of idiots when it comes to the Sabres. They honestly reminded me of that line in Major League, when the Indians training camp roster is being revealed: “who’re these effing guys.” I’m sorry we only have Ryan Miller for you to build your pregame happy talk around. Do some research and you’ll find some other stuff out. Like how the Sabres have multiple Olympians on their team, a leading contender for rookie of the year, a lot of local boys doing well…something, anything.

– Alert the media: Tyler Myers is really tall.

– Jason Pominville is no good at hanging onto the puck. No cookie for you.

– Alert the media again: According to the Ducks broadcast, Derek Roy is the diving-y-est diver that ever dived. Their outrage at Roy drawing a penalty was ridiculous.

– Lindy Ruff apparently did not crack any skulls during the first intermission, as everyone showed up to play in the second. I still would love to know what exactly was said during that first intermission, and who said it. Lindy? Miller? Grier? Rivet? Gaustad?

– Finally, why the heck is CoreyPerry always called by his first and last name? Will he wander astray if he’s ever just called Perry?

These late games do not serve either blogging or an office job well. And yes, that is my East Coast bias talking.

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