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Potential All Star Break Activities

January 29, 2011

So with the NHL on break until Monday (and the Sabres off until Friday – what kind of malarkey is that?), most players have departed for places far and wide for assorted debauchery good clean fun. So what is there to do for those players still left in town? We here at Shots Off the Crossbar have brainstormed a list of both physically and mentally stimulating activities that will allow a player to relax and recharge his batteries before coming back to engage in a playoff push (or high draft pick push).

– Participate in their child’s education by acting as a room dad at school – handing out juice boxes, participating in story time, reminding the kids that eating crayons is bad, lecturing little Timmy that violence is never the answer unless you can avoid getting sent to the penalty box for it.

– Tackling the “honey do” list.

– Reading the Buffalo News archives and making a list of how many times Bucky Gleason references the following: “Kennedy,” “Briere,” “Drury.” This activity should be done over the course of a year’s worth of columns, as any longer may cause the player’s head to spontaneously combust from the sheer volume of content generated from the exercise.

– Firing pucks at a tiny circle on their garage door so that they can keep their aim steady for the “shoot the puck through the photographer’s hole” contests held during practice.

– Shopping for the perfect Valentines Day gift for the wife, girlfriend or favorite lady friend(s).

– Reading “War & Peace.”

– Catching up on their favorite blogs, both of the hockey & non-hockey types.

– Educating themselves on the American political system by watching The West Wing.

– Making notes on how to enact an Aaron Sorkin “walk-and-talk” with a teammate while wandering around the arena.

– Writing the Great American Novel. They will receive more credit if they continue the story past “It was a dark and stormy night.”

– Taking Sabretooth for a trip to the groomers for his mid-season fluff and fold.

– Concocting a fiendish plan to lure the opposing goalie out of the net so that Rob Niedermayer can score a goal.

– Making sure that they have an emergency suitcase packed in case they are traded to points far flung upon the arrival of the new overlord, savior, owner.

I promise there may be hockey content and discussion on this blog at some point soon.

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