Archive for the ‘Former Sabres’ Category

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The T Word

November 3, 2010

(Image from Ihasahotdog.com)

Really, after that debacle of a game, most people would be quite happy if the T word was put in a box and shipped to a land far, far, away.

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Preseason: Sabres vs. Sens

September 28, 2010

I’m slowly working my way back into this blogging thing. Baby steps, you see.

– The new white sweaters look sharp, but like a lot of people have said, the gold band on the bottom just seems off somehow. It’s like they pulled the wrong PMS color or something. (Speaking of PMS colors, did you know that Tiffany Blue is a copyrighted color? You cannot take a Tiffany box to the store and get the color matched. PMS 1837 is limited only to Tiffany use.)

– I love the picture used in the online edition of today’s Buffalo News for the article discussing Lalime’s goals for the season. It really works nicely with the headline calling out the Sabres need to lean on Lalime.

– I can’t help but giggle when I hear the name “Bobby Butler” for the Sens. Another Bobby (well, Robert) Butler was one of my profs in college (and head thesis reader) and if you’ve ever met Bobby Butler from Canisius, you will understand why I am chuckling.

– It’s incredibly weird to be hearing the old HNiC theme on TSN. I do like the music that the CBC got to replace the old theme, but to me, the babababa theme will always be HNiC-related.

– The Double Stuf Oreo mascot appearing in the new Oreo commercials looks like he could be Peter Puck’s long-lost little brother. And while I’m thinking about the Oreo commercial, Apolo Ohno really is a little guy compared to the rest of the athletes he’s appearing with.

– Stafford and Connolly are both wearing letters tonight. No leadership pressure in a contract year boys, nope, none at all.

– The season hasn’t even started yet and I’m on Center Ice commercial burnout. I will be thrilled to order CI as soon as I  jump through TWC’s hoops that are required before they will come out and install a cable line to my flat. Then there’s the mishegas of them actually coming out to install and bringing the DVR and all that jazz.

– It was kind of shocking to hear the number of concussions that Peca & Barnaby admitted to having during their NHL careers. (Peca: 3 reported, 6 total. Barnaby: 6 reported, 12 total.) Barnaby’s candor during this segment is refreshing. To admit that he played a chunk of a game with no vision in his left eye as a result of a fight just proves that these guys are of a different mindset than a “normal” human being. I want to curl up and whimper when I have a headache, these guys want to be out on the ice.

– I could live without this Pierre/Gary Bettman interview. Pierre just creeps me out, and Bettman is just to PR-speaky for me. Not to mention that I keep hearing the Charlie Brown teachers “whaa-whaa” voice as Bettman is prattling on with his usual talking points on the Olympics, salary caps, circumventions, and other topics.

– Not NHL related: I simply cannot fathom a $55,000 dinner. Mind…blown. It’s moments like this that don’t do much to rehab the image of professional athletes as spoiled brats. The fact that they spent $55k on dinner (not that the rookie stuck with the bill couldn’t afford it), when people are struggling just to make ends meet on $55k a year is astounding. I guess the rich really are different from you and me.

– After one aborted fight, the refs finally let Cody McCormick and a Senator go at it. McCormick is one tough cookie. The Sabres need that “don’t mess with me, bro” attitude.

– Earlier tonight the broadcast crew said that Gerbe was 5’7. Right. He’s 5’7 in the same way I’m 5’7 – when I’m wearing heels and standing on a footstool. Dude is tiny, but according to the media guide, has some weight on him. He apparently weighs more than Miller despite being 9 inches shorter!

– Leopold has an undetermined injury and was scratched from tonight’s lineup. Sekera replaced him. Isn’t it a little early for all these injuries (Rivet, Kaleta, etc)?

– My cousin had a rugby crossbar fall on him today and ended up with four staples in his head. I guess you could say that he took a shot off the crossbar? (groan)

– I do like the “questions will become answers” theme that the NHL is utilizing for their ad campaign. It’s nice that they can tailor individual spots for each team. If they carry it through the season (say updating at the halfway point and the playoffs), it could be a winner.

– On Pommer’s goal, I’m pretty sure that I could have made the shot through that large gap between the goalie’s legs. And I have no athletic ability or skills whatsoever.

– Neil gets an extra whack in on Miller while running the crease, and Vanek, Connolly and Pominville rise to their goalie’s defense with a little bit of pushing & shoving. Miller just calmly skates away, like “you people deal with this nonsense, I’ll just be over here watching.”

– How funny is it that an Ottawa player heads off the ice and to the dressing room only to be stopped by local constables for some autographs? I’m sure that doesn’t happen at Scotia Bank Place.

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Things & Stuff & Guys

September 27, 2010

– So the pre-season has started and we Sabres fans can’t see any of the games being televised on NHL Network due to some backwards issues between MSG & the NHL. Yay! Way to piss off one of your biggest markets! I’ve only seen bits & pieces of the first two games due to internet feed issues (and the whole being in Pittsburgh thing), but it sounds like Kassian is impressing many. I hope he’s atoned for his past misdeeds and the Sabres give him a fair shot. Whether it means a contract this year or not, he’s gotten a lot of fans past their summer apathy & misery and talking hockey again.

– How adorable is Chris Butler admitting that his grandmother gave him a pep talk regarding getting out of the press box and back onto the ice? Between his common sense, low key Twitter postings and this recent article, Butler is slowly getting back into my good graces. He’s just so refreshingly normal for a professional athlete. There’s no bitching, whining or comments about making panty soup (which is a phrase I just learned, thanks to the Twitter.) He appears to be what my aunt would call “just plain folk.” I love it.

– Ryan Miller is a very nice photographer. He could have a lucrative career capturing moments at weddings, baptisms & bar/bat mitzvahs if that whole hockey player thing doesn’t work out for him. And if I may wade into the shallow end of the pool for a moment, has Drew Doughty always been that attractive?

– And in case anyone is looking for a nice, nostalgic time waster, Entertainment Weekly has provided a list of the 25 or so most memorable Sesame Street guest appearances.

– I wasn’t expecting the Bills to cut Edwards today. Since Trent was a perfectly nice gentleman, he deserves a classy send-off.

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Darcy Did Something!

July 7, 2010

The Sabres today announce that they’ve signed Rob Niedermayer to a one year deal. The Sabres sign Nieder, I create a blog post featuring an Animal House video. It’s a win-win situation, really. The Sabres get some grit, determination and a player with a Cup ring, and I get inspiration for a blog post.

Animal House is one of my favorite movies, in case you were wondering.

And to make the day a lot better, the Sabres announced that Patty Lalime has been signed to a one year deal. Was there much of a doubt as to whether this would happen? Enroth’s not ready for the big show quite yet, and Lalime keeps Miller loose and relaxed. Miller doesn’t need “keeping rookie backup goalie sane” added to the things that he carries on his shoulders. Now the task is just getting Lindy to do something completely insane and play his backup  goalie on a slightly more regular schedule. This only playing the backup on the second Tuesday of next week when the moon is in the 7th house won’t cut it anymore.

And since Niedermayer got a video, it’s only fair that Lalime get one. Lalime’s video is really more of a Ryan Miller video, but it contains Miller’s quite adorkable impression of his goalie partner.

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Crazy Bout a Sharp Dressed Man OR SOTC’s Recap of the NHL Awards

June 23, 2010

–  I f’love this photo of Mr. Miller. The man can wear a suit. And cock an eyebrow like no one’s business. When he has kids, that speculative eyebrow is going to be one heck of a parenting tool.

– I hit a dead link on NHL.com earlier, and this was the error message I received: This page may have moved, is no longer available, is in the penalty box, or we have a problem with our web site, sorry.

Cute, NHL. Very cute. I mean that in a good way.

– The show opens with a performance by Snoop Dogg. I know when I think of the link between NHL & music, Snoop is the first artist that comes to mind. Snoop’s performance is backed up by a montage of great hits and plays from this past season. Travis Barker appears to be backing Snoop up on the drums. Whatevs.

– Jay Mohr’s monologue makes a “Phoenix Coyotes as booby prize” joke within the first minute-and-a-half. That’s excellent. I also enjoyed his comment about Ovie going off into the Pacific Northwest to scare some campers. Crosby must have his laugh chip installed tonight, as he was cracking up at Mohr’s joke about two minutes in the box not meaning what you think it means when dealing with a lady of the evening in Vegas. Sadly, this monologue is the high point of the night for Mohr.

– The first award of the night is the Calder award, given to the NHL’s Rookie of the Year. Mom speculates that this is the first award because all of the little ones have to go to bed early. Tyler Myers is the winner. Yay! He endearingly pulls out a sheet of paper (8.5 x 11, typed, double sided) to give his acceptance speech. Aww. Myers speech focusing on thanking his friends, family, the WHL, Hockey Canada, the Sabres coaches & management & his teammates. What a sweetie.

– In the “water is wet and puppies are cute” moment, Pavel Datsyuk wins the Selke Award. His speech is borderline hilarious, but his pink shirt and tie combo is the scene stealer.

– Ooh, I just noticed that the banners hanging above the stage change to the number of whatever player is winning the award. Nice touch, NHL.

– Hank Sedin is presented his Art Ross trophy on the red carpet. You read that right. We’re now presenting awards outside and showing them on videotape.

– Patrick Sharp and Pat Kane are off to the side being interviewed by the resident roving reporter, and Kane has his arms wrapped around a Playboy bunny. Oh Pat, you’re so suave. :::roll eyes:::

– Cirque du Soleil Beatles edition performs one of the numbers from their show. Think one of these guys would like to be a backup goalie? They look kind of bendy, and you never know when the opportunity to do a back handspring while breakdancing could come in handy on a killer penalty kill. All joking aside, I’d love to see the Beatles Cirque show in Vegas, but this bathroom renovation has tapped me out for a good long time, so no Vegas for me.

– Ron MacLean and Ted Lindsay present the Ted Lindsay award, which is given to the best player as voted on by his peers. It’s like a badass version of the Miss Congenialty award. Ovechkin wins the award, but, in the words of @LindyRuffsTie, WEAR A TIE YA BUM! Seriously Ovie, this is an awards show, not the airport lounge at McCarron as you’re flying back to Washington after visiting a trade show. My mom wants to know why you also haven’t gotten your teeth fixed yet. If Duncan Keith can get seven teeth fixed, you can have one fixed.

– Getzlaf & Bobby Ryan do this pretty hilarious skit to settle the differences between them due to Getzlaf’s superiority complex since winning gold in Vancouver. That video really needs to be put on a website somewhere for those that missed it. We know hockey players are pretty good at making fun of themselves, so hopefully the league is aware of the positive reception this video has received and starts to make more like it.

– The presentation of the Rocket Richard Trophy is also handled on the red carpet. I’m not a fan of these outside little presentations. Bring them on stage and give them their due like all the other awards.

– John Slattery presents the Jack Adams Award to Dave Tippett. Tippett gets huge, huge credit for turning a pile of sh*t in Phoenix and turning it into a playoff  making rose.

– Kudos to Versus & the league for making sure the nominee & winner names are in a large enough font on the screen to make blogging easier for us at home.

– DB Sweeney (toe pick!) and Jamie Kennedy are up next to present the Vezina award. Kennedy muffs the pronunciation of poor Vezina’s name during the schtick before the presentation. YAY! Miller wins the Vezina and gets big hugs from Brodeur and Bryzgalov. He also pulls a Tyler Myers and pulls out his speech. (Aww.) After thanking the friends, family and girlfriend, Miller thanks his teammates and even makes a special thank you to Patty Lalime. I think the little Lalime impersonation (“ipipip hey buddy” in a french accent) was probably the highlight of the speech.I really hope the league puts Miller’s speech online, since that bit was seriously adorable. Several people on Twitter are speculating that Miller’s love for Lalime tonight indicates that Lalime will be back with the Sabres next year. It might be that, but it also might be a sign of  Miller giving his buddy an ultimate shoutout after the Buffalo fanbase has thrown Lalime under the bus, driven over him, scraped him off the pavement and done it again.

Also, I like Miller’s acknowledgment that the players are going to go out and have a grand old time after the ceremony is over. I mean, it’s 6pm in Vegas when the show ends. It’s not like they’re going to hit the early bird dinner and then head into their hotel rooms to be in bed by 10. (Well, the latter part might be true. Please reference Mohr’s bit at the beginning.) They’re going to go out and live it up. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Unless you’re caught by TMZ, Deadspin or a stray blogger or tweeter, that is.

– The NHL just tweeted that Miller won the Vezina in a landslide. He had 126 votes, Bryzgalov was 2nd with 79. That’s an ass kicking of epic proportions.

– Brodeur wins the Jennings trophy in a red carpet presentation.

– Shinedown performs. I take a powder. Not my cup of tea.

– Theodore wins the Masterton award. I have to give my mother the Readers Digest condensed version of Jose’s story. It has to be heartbreaking for him to be accepting the award on what would have been the day after his son’s first birthday.

– The King Clancy award is given to Shane Doan by representatives of the US Army. Give all of them a round of applause and a standing ovation, please. Doan gives a plea for any free agents to come to Phoenix, since they’re going to be there another year. Is that tampering, or just a lighthearted plea?

– Nate Ewell, the Caps PR guy, reports on Twitter that Miller carried his Vezina into the press conference, telling the reporters that he’s not letting go, that it’s his trophy. I wish he would deposit his Vezina in the middle of the locker room on the opening day of training camp, challenging his teammates that this is not the piece of silver he wants.

– And here’s Myers with his Calder, grinning like a fool.

– Same thing with Miller and his new friend Vezina.

– Martin St. Louis wins the Lady Byng for gentlemanly play. Water wet, puppies cute. St. Louis a gentleman. NEXT!

– Crosby wins the Messier Award for leadership. I call shenanigans on this one. Crosby won the Cup last season, Mess. You shouldn’t be able to use it as justification for this year’s award. Miller was the leader of our ragtag bunch of players, carried the team on his shoulders, and wasn’t afraid to tell it like it is to either his teammates or the media. Doesn’t that count for something?

– This awards show diary is temporarily interrupted as I have to go play grumpy old lady and yell at some kids to get off my lawn and out of my flower bed. Kids these days…

– The Norris trophy is awarded to Duncan Keith. (Also, Mike Green, listen to the same advice that I gave Ovie. Wear a damn tie like a grownup.) Keith makes a crack that Ovie better keep his hands off his fiancee, as they are seated next to each other in the audience.

– Miller is presented the Foundation award on the red carpet. He wins a crystal trophy and a $25,000 check. Way to go, Ryan!

– The Goos sing their single, “Home.” Tonight’s musical performances are brought to us by Verizon. Hey Verizon, how bout taking that sponsorship money and dropping it off at Buffalo City Hall so I can get FiOS here in the city?

– Guy LaFleur presents the final award of the night, the Hart Trophy. (Random aside, I wonder if the producers of Lost used LaFleur as Sawyer’s alias as a tribute to Guy?) Henrik Sedin wins the Hart. Good. I was going to flip something if Ovie or Crosby would have won. Let’s get some new names on these trophies. Hank makes a subtle dig at his brother Daniel, saying that there’s no way Daniel can say that he is a better player than Henrik now.

– Well friends, this brings us to the end of the 2009-10 season. The draft and UFA day are ahead of us, but really, we’re heading into the doldrums of summer. Enjoy the nice weather and know that hockey is just around the corner.

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Flies on the Wall

May 24, 2010

There’s been some recent implications by some members of the mass media that Tim Connolly is currently an issue in the locker room. Some writers (coughSullycough) have stated that several of Timmy’s teammates are disenchanted with Timmy’s play. Mike Harrington even implied as much on Twitter this afternoon. We here at Shots off the Crossbar accessed our super secret spycams to be a fly on the wall in the Sabres locker room to get to the bottom of this situation.

Timmy: “‘Sup, dogs.”

:::crickets chirp:::

Timmy: “What did I do?”

Millsy: “Nothing. That’s the problem.” [goes back to taping something or other]

Timmy: “You have to understand. It’s difficult being me.”

Goose: “It’s difficult being all of us. We’re a team. We win together. We lose together. That’s how it goes. You’re dragging us down. We can’t even listen to the honking radio without being accosted by your dreckitude.”

Timmy: “That’s fine. Thank you for bringing that to my attention, here. In private.”

Vanek: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Timmy: “Somehow, the distinguished members of the fourth estate know that you all are pissed at me.”

Pommers: “The fourth estate?”

Timmy: “The press.”

Pommers: “Oh. I thought you might have bought another house.”

Timmy: “Oy” [rubs a hand sheepishly over his forehead and cheek].  “Still, whenever you guys are bitching at me, there’s no media in the room. Where the hell are they getting this [profanity redacted] from?”

Timmy’s rant is interrupted by the sound of small thwacks coming from the players lounge. Our intrepid Timmy goes to investigate and it’s revealed that Sabretooth is throwing darts at a picture of Timmy nailed to a dartboard. The picture appears to be well pockmarked, so it’s fairly obvious that the cat has been at it for awhile.

Timmy: “The damn cat is ratting me out?! I want to talk to someone in power!” and stomps away.

*~*~*~*~*

* Yo. In case you didn’t realize it, this was satire. No super secret spycams are in the Sabres locker room.

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A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words

May 3, 2010

Zdeno Chara is so good that he tries to take Briere’s head off with Briere’s own stick.

As seen on ESPN’s homepage a couple of minutes ago.

Moving on,

And I know that Timmy’s not 34, but at some point, Lindy Lassie is going to stop fetching him from whatever well he falls into during the playoffs. If that happens, the threat of getting sent to a farm downstate is going to look like the least of Timmy’s problems.