Archive for the ‘Slag-Faced Whores’ Category


Things I Could Have Done Instead of Watching Sabres/Flyers

October 26, 2010

– Battened down the hatches.

– Laundry. I need to wash my pink shirt in order to be Boo to a co-worker’s Sully on Halloween.

– Started reading another book.

– Danced my cares away.

Speaking of the Fraggles, my inner 6-year-old is delighted that they are back on TV, on The Hub network. Guess what I’ll be watching on my winter break, LOL.

– Hung posters on my wall.

– Watched Glee and the rest of my regular Tuesday night programming.

– Watched Dancing With the Stars. Kurt Warner has become pleasantly appealing. Rick Fox is dating Elisha Dushku (Faith from Buffy) and Jennifer Grey is married to Mike Casper, Josh’s guy from the FBI on the West Wing. Watching DWTS has become some odd form of six degrees of separation…with sparkles and rhinestones.

– Knit.

– Written a to-do list for the office tomorrow.

– Learned the names of all the US Presidents in order.

Did I do any of these things? Nope, no I did not. I sat and watched the entire freaking game. I deserve a medal. Or a cookie.


Sabres v. Flyers – 3.20.09

March 20, 2009

Or, The One Where the Wheels Officially Came Off The Wagon.

I had to watch tonight’s game on a bit of a DVR delay, as I had to go and make like a grownup and socialize at an industry event. Midway through cocktails, the score was still 0-0. By the time I got to my car, it was 2-1, Sabres. When I got home, it was 2-2. Fine. Since I’m a complete spoiler whore, I kept peeking in the picture in picture to check the live score while watching the recording of the game. As the live game pulled away from the Sabres, I couldn’t stop watching the DVR’d version. It’s like I had to know how the team went from winning to losing so pathetically. I even thought that it might be me that’s bad luck, and even debated whether or not to watch tomorrow night’s Rangers game. (I decided I will, mostly because I’m a glutton for punishment.)

– Tonight is the first game I really want to blame Lalime for the loss. At times, he looked shaky, but other times he looked confident. The team doesn’t need a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Spastic Goalie playing in net for the Sabres. While Miller is skating and taking shots again, I doubt he’ll be back any time soon to try and help the team out.

– What the hell was up with Pommers knocking the 5th Flyers goal into the net. There’s “helping your goaltender by crashing the crease when he’s out of position” and then there’s “not helping the goaltender by hitting the puck into the net while the goalie is out of position.” Guess which one Pommers demonstrated.

– Pommers was asked during the post-game press conference why the Sabres can’t keep leads. He almost looked like a deer in headlights while answering the question. I really think they’re overthinking this. Don’t think about the lead, which means a win, which means help in the playoff chase, etc. Just think about the next second on the ice and the next shift. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself by trying to make it fancy dancy. Not to be cliche, but just play the damn system! It’s THE SYSTEM for a reason. It works. To paraphrase Nike, just do it already. Don’t make me and the assorted wheaty bitches come down to HSBC Arena and slap some sense into you.

– Roby brought out a good point, that it’s alright for the fans to lose hope and go to their bad place (per Goose), but if the players lose hope, then you might as well not even take the ice for the game. It sounds like the players still believe, but they’re losing the big room that is Sabre Fandom.

– At least Chris Butler got his first NHL goal. He probably would have liked it better had the goal come during a game that the Sabres actually won.

– The Sabres put 43 shots on Marty and he stopped all but four of them. Marty was especially spectacular at the end of the second period, point blank stopping Roy, I believe. 43 shots and if they can’t beat Marty, who has had his moments of mediocrity this season, then there’s no way that they can beat other, better NHL goalies (Prawn, Tim Tom and the other Marty B. come to mind).

– The power play went 0-7 tonight. When the other team gift wraps  you scoring chances, you better convert on them.

– I fully support the fans booing the Sabres at the end of the game. Giving up a boatload of odd man rushes, lots of shots but few conversions, and some defensive breakdowns do not a successful, winning game make.

– What exactly happened to send Carcillo off for a 10-minute misconduct in the second? I kind of missed that while getting a beverage.

– I’m now fully ready to book my ticket on the good ship World Championships. It sucks that the Sabres are most likely not going to be playing hockey in the spring, but at least some of them can go put on their country’s sweater and extend their season a bit.

– I noticed after the 6th Flyers goal that there’s a large Gatorade, scuse me “G”, jug on their bench labeled “ice bags.” Do all teams keep ice bags on their bench in G containers or is that a Philly tradition?

– I’m not going to wade into the Ovie: To Celebrate or Not To Celebrate discussion, but seriously, Don Cherry’s head is going to explode during Coach’s Corner. The potential to top the discussion from a couple of weeks ago is huge.

– I got a kick out of reading what Pat Kaleta put in his auction basket for the Aces and Blades event.

– And on a light note, check out the rapping flight attendant. Skip ahead to the 1:00 mark for the real fun to start.



March 18, 2009

Now that I’ve calmed down a bit from last night’s rampant cussing, let’s take a look at the Sabres/Sens game. I think we all probably can admit that we knew that a Sens game probably wasn’t going to end well for the Sabres, since the Sens were 4-1 against the Sabres this season heading into last night’s game. For whatever reason, they seem to know exactly how to play against the Sabres.

– According to Mike Harrington, Lindy closed the locker room for 15 minutes after last night’s game and tore his team a new one. A well deserved new one, in my humble bloggerly opinion. They blew a two goal lead against one of the leagues worst teams. Come on, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that is not how you make the playoffs. I want to see some frustration out of these guys. For too long, comments to the media have been all sunshine, kittens, puppy dogs, rainbows and the system. I want to see the kind of anger and bitterness that we saw out of Gaustad and Miller after that horrible home loss to Washington at the end of December. These guys need to be ready to kick some ass and take some names within the locker room before they can start kicking ass and taking names against their opponents.

At least the game’s positive elements included some decent play from Tellqvist in his first start in a long while and Pominville proving that he’s not yet dead (just resting), by kicking in a goal and an assist. I also liked the intermission footage of Miller skating around and having some fun with Corsi and the other goalies. I did notice that when Miller is  wearing street clothes on the top and his breezers and leg pads on the bottom, it makes him look very, very, very pear shaped. It really was quite jarring. I also noticed during the interview footage with Miller that Chris Butler’s locker appears to be a folding chair stuck in front of the wall that separates two lockers? Poor guy doesn’t even have a locker stall to call his own.

– Eight consecutive penalties are not how you win hockey games. I mean, sure some of them were chintzy, borederline calls by the refs, but I do know Staffy’s retaliatory elbow against Heatley was just a boneheaded play to make (by a bonehead, no less). On the other hand, Roy got knocked around a couple of times by the Sens and they weren’t called. I have a feeling sunshine’s reputation as a diver proceeded him in this case.

– Off topic, but there’s a small part of my cold, cold heart that wanted the blind guy to sing “Jesus Take the Wheel” during last night’s Idol show focusing on the Grand Ole Opry. (I’ll just sit over here quietly at the stop for the bus to hell. Don’t mind me.) To actually talk about last night’s Idol, that seismic event you felt was Johnny Cash rolling over when he heard what Adam Lambert did with Ring of Fire. On the positive side, Kris Allen was fantastic with To Make You Feel My Love. Randy Travis was just a sweetheart while “mentoring” the contestants, but if that was his wife sitting next to him in the audience last night, oh dear. And that’s all I’ll say about that. On the negative side, Danny Gokey just needs to STFU already about the dead wife and stop with the Jesus singing and lesbian science teacher glasses.

– Congrats to Marty Brodeur for winning his 552nd career game. Check out the ESPN video for how loud the crowd’s “Marty, Marty, Marty” chants are during his interview with MSG. It’s chilling, but in a good way.

To give you an idea of how long Marty’s been around, check out this YouTube video from the Sabres/Devils series back in the mid-90s. Brodeur as a young pup versus Hasek. Good times.

Apologies for the shitty video quality.

– Another off topic, but how cool are the US baseball guys at the World Baseball Classic. Yahoo! has a great story about them inviting a wounded US soldier into the clubhouse after the win against Puerto Rico last night. Classy show guys, classy show.


Good News, Bad News

March 11, 2009

– Good News: Max scored a goal last night. That would be his third goal of the year.

– Bad News: Max’s third goal of the year (ugh) deflected off his leg. I know we’ll take goals any way we can get them, but that goal was more or less a result of being in the right place at the right time than a result of any skills employed by Max.

– Good News: The Little Honkers clinched a playoff spot in their Yahoo Fantasy League.

– Bad News: The Sabres apparently need small words and visual aids to understand the “playoff” concept.

– Good News: At least Lalime’s GAA last night (5.17) wasn’t as bad as Marty Turco’s (15.08).

– Bad News: Turco’s a Little Honker and that putrid GAA is killing me. I think both Turco and Luongo are going to have to stand on their head and burp the alphabet if I want to win the goalie stats this week.

– Good News: articles like this about Goose. Both he and Vanek talked about using their time in the press box to study the game.

– Bad News: who am I to kvetch about a player learning more about the game? No bad news here.

– Good News: at least Jeff Carter didn’t get a hat trick last night.

– Bad News: the Sabres shouldn’t have allowed Carter to be in that position to begin with.

– Good News: Kaleta’s fight with Asham. That was great.

– Bad News: the refs breaking up Carcillo and Rivet. I really thought Rivet would have pounded that punk into next Tuesday just for the heck of it.

– Good News: it’s Wednesday.

– Bad News: there’s only 15 more games left in the season and the Sabres are four points out of a playoff spot. Is it too early to start rooting for an epic collapse of someone? Pens, Flyers, Rangers, Habs, Panthers…doesn’t matter at this point.

– Good News: Rick Nash scored an unassisted hat trick the other night.

– Bad News: you now have that song stuck in your head.


Sabres v. Rangers – 2.21.09

February 21, 2009

Thoughts before, during and after tonight’s Rangers game.

– I didn’t see the Sabres Notebook on Friday morning due to the fact that I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off at the office. However, Mike Harrington mentioned the Notebook in his live blog of tonight’s game. And I have to say, the headline is a bit of an epic FAIL for the Buffalo News. I know the News has put up a clunker or two of a story or headline in the past, but this is a new low. (Sorry, Mike.)

On a lighter note, can anyone else see Marty tromping through the woods to pay a social call on Lindy (or borrow a cup of sugar)?

– I really liked the interview that Craig Rivet did for the Sabres Show. To me, that’s what a proper player interview should be. Roby allowed Rivet to expand upon his answers, and wasn’t in any hurry to get to the next question, unlike some interviews that Maria Genero has done. There was an easy rapport between the two gentlemen, as they both were drawing on the same experience of being professional hockey players.I liked that Rivet said that he’s not afraid to call a player out on the carpet if he thinks that they aren’t playing to their full potential, and that some other guys in the room have stepped up into that role as well. I’d really like to know who the players are that Rivet said hadn’t experienced a public call out before. I have my suspicions as to the guilty parties.

– I’m liking the Paille / Goose combination tonight. They were hitting anyone in a Rangers sweater that moved during their final shift in the first period. That’s the kind of spunk we need to see out of them night after night.

–  So that stupid slag faced whore Scott Gomez tangled with Miller, causing Miller to awkwardly fall and have to leave the game. I did, however, think that it was incredibly telling that Miller crawled back toward the crease, trying to keep up with the play, rather than flopping around behind the net like a dying trout. That tells me that the team and the game is more important to Miller than his own personal status.

I’m surprised that the team let Ryan speak to the media after the game. Usually injured players are squirreled away, never to be seen by the postgame media horde. Also, color me surprised that the team didn’t try to disguise the injury under the traditional lower-body injury classification. I wonder if the team figured that the shitstorm they would get from the media and the crazy internet people (this blogger included) outweighed the benefits of keeping the injury secret.

Miller reported he has a high ankle sprain, but a low one for that type of injury. (A low, high ankle sprain. Isn’t that some sort of oxymoron?) He looked shaken during the interview, but I don’t think it was so much that he was hurt, but more a reaction to the intensity of the media’s questions about the injury and Gomez’s intent. On a shallow side note, I did like the tweed overcoat that Miller was wearing. A peacoat in that fabric would be nice. Then again, I need another peacoat like I need a hole in the head.

If Miller is out for an extended period of time, this wouldn’t be the first time this season that an elite goalie has been injured. Both the Devils and Canucks lost their franchise goalies earlier this year.  Both teams have done reasonably well while Lui and Brodeur were relegated to the press box. The Devils are currently holding onto the number 3 spot in the Eastern Conference, and the Canucks maintained their playoff positioning. The Sabres need to follow these examples and unite behind the backup goalie if they hope to keep a spot in the top 8 in the conference. I may be overly optimistic, but if Scott Fucking Clemmensen of all people can lead a team to the Top 3 of the conference, then the Sabres should be just fine behind Patty Lalime.

– Why was Mr.Held-Together-With-Spit-Bubblegum-And-The-Grace-of-God Connolly the only one to go after Gomez? Why Timmy and not Goose or Mairsy or Kaleta? The fragile shall lead them I guess.

I was also really intrigued by Lalime’s thoughts on opponents running Miller these past couple of games. Lalime has one of the best seats in the house, and if he’s noticing it, you can’t help but wonder why the other 20-something guys on the bench haven’t noticed it and done something about it. Lalime made the point that you would think something would be done about it, since they’re all in this together. If one team notices that liberties can be taken with the goalies, you bet your ass that other teams are going to notice.

– After seeing Miller leave the game, I really want to know now who the team’s emergency goaltender would be. C’mon, you know someone has to be able to strap on the pads and go.

– On the positive side, Jochen Hecht proved tonight that he wasn’t dead, just resting these last couple of games. It’s about darn time he showed up on the scoresheet.

– Stay tuned for a post later this week detailing my experience at the Paul Gaustad signing at Dave and Adam’s. If you behave yourselves, I may even share a picture.


That’s What He Said

December 3, 2008

– I’m finding the whole Sean Avery “sloppy seconds” situation pretty comical. I mean, should Avery have said what he said in front of the media? That’s a resounding NO. But should the NHL have stepped in and suspended Avery? Probably not. By stepping in, the league took what should have been a quietly handled team matter and thrust it even further into the spotlight. All the league would have had to have said is that “the Stars are handling it, but we’ve discussed this situation with their management, and have given our input on the matter blahblahblah Colin Campbell cakes” Now, because the league has stepped in, discussions of whether the league is being hypocritical are now hitting the media and the blogosphere. I mean, the League doesn’t have a consistent standard when it comes to suspension-worthy infractions, or suspension length. Someone executes a late hit, and they’re given a slap on the wrist, but someone else calls their ex-girlfriend a skanky ho, and they’re suspended indefinitely.

What’s also adding to the hilarity is the MSM’s creative editing of the term “sloppy seconds.” Could some people take offense to such a term? Yes, and I’m sure some people are. But at the same time, that phrase is at the heart of the story. Removing that phrase and substituting a euphemism like cheap tart, or removing the phrase and bracketing in [euphemism for loose woman] is really taking away the main reason why this story is even a story at all.

And to think that if Avery had just kept his mouth shut to the media and made his comments to Phaneuf on the ice, none of this would have happened. Ok, so Avery might have been Phaneuf’d into the fourth row during last night’s game, but there would be 97% less pearl clutching going on this morning.

I did like Lindy’s comments on Avery-gate:

“We always talk to our players about how much pride they have to take in representing the Buffalo Sabres, the organization and themselves. I do it every year at the start of training camp … We’re in a unique situation here in that we’re a lot closer to our fans than in a lot of cities. I want our fans and our young followers to be proud of the way our players handle themselves.”

Obviously Lindy has not seen any of his boys on Chippewa.

And why do I have a feeling that the plane ride to Florida is going to include a brief lecture from the Sabres PR department about how to conduct oneself in front of the media or just out in public? I mean, the ish hit the fan last year when Soupy busted out with the Expletive Deleted Stupid Ice Bowl comments at the Buckin Buffalo, and that was relatively minor compared with how the league is viewing the Avery situation.

– Moving on, why does the Lindy Roast at WGR’s Whiney awards sound like it could be a barrel of laughs?

– I’m not sure that I like this “fresh start” crap that the Sabres are spewing. Do they need to forget the past couple of games? Probably. But at the same time, they shouldn’t forget the streak they went on to start the season? Remember that? It was when Buffalo was having fun with their sports teams, instead of running around looking for bandwagons to jump off of. I did like that Rivet skated in the post-meeting practice despite being injured. Now that’s a leader.


The Calm Before the Storm

June 30, 2008

Edited to add the bottom paragraph.

Noon tomorrow marks the beginning of one of the wackiest days in hockey: UFA Day! Its a chance for fans to break their F5 buttons, wondering if their team is going to sign a big name free agent or let some big names walk out the door. The Sabres could be players in the UFA sweepstakes, as they need a defenseman and a backup goalie. There’s some interesting rumors out there, including but not limited to:

– Soupy signing with Nashville for $41 mil over 8 years. Yeah, that’s pretty f’ing ridiculous. I really think that Soupy is going to be the winner of this year’s “Most Overpaid Player” award. He can pick up the tiara and sash on his way to wherever he signs.

– Max and Stafford being traded to Florida for Bouwmeister. Ok, so this one might not be so farfetched. Max has been rumored to be on his way out, and Stafford has been mentioned in a few places as trade bait.

Irregardless of what happens, sit back, have a nice beverage and a snack, and watch the ensuing insanity.

– On a happier note, the Sabres announced today that they have started contract talks with Ryan Miller. Yippee! Maybe this announcement will put those “Miller to Detroit” rumors to bed for awhile. And at least Darcy started talking to Miller before he disappeared to take part in the annual month long “Ryan’s Birthday Celebration.”

– I really want a peanut butter cookie right now. When I was in Michigan, I had some awesome peanut butter cookies from this one German bakery. I’ve tried to find a decent cookie here, but am having little luck. I’ve tried Timmy Ho’s peanut butter cookies, and was turned off by the actual peanuts in them. Blech. My next stop may be actually making my own cookies, heaven help us all.

WHOOO! The Sabres have signed Goose to a 4-year contract. I feel relieved, as I was afraid my dear little Goose would have been sent an offer sheet by Podunk Tech and would have left the Buffalo behind. I’m now decorating the place in Goose colored bunting, and am making sure to put the Crunchy colored bunting on order.


Its Total Crackpot Day Again

May 2, 2008

– My first thought on seeing this photo on the front page of the Buffalo News Sports section? He’s not dead, he’s resting.

– Yahoo’s hockey blog is just a treasure trove of material. Today they included Margee’s absolutely fabulous look at the different styles of playoff beards. Like most of Margee’s posts, you might not want to have liquids or food around when reading. You don’t want to do damage to yourself or your computer from laughing hysterically.

– I’m sure that NBC is doing back handsprings now that the Pens/Rags series is not a sweep. If that series, and the Wings/Avs had both been sweeps, NBC would have been faced with no weekend hockey games. (The Philly/Montreal game could not have been moved from Saturday night, due to contractual obligations with HNiC. And you really don’t want to piss off the Canadians by moving something out of HNiC.) Since the Pens lost on Thursday, they now play on Sunday afternoon. No hockey at all on NBC this weekend would not have been a good thing, especially since the league has been trumpeting ratings increases and the fact that they re-signed with the network. It would have been a total momentum killer.

– Am I the last person to know that Elisha Cuthburt is allegedly schtupping Dion Phaneuf? From Avery to Phaneuf with a Komisarek in between? That’s progress.

– And in some non-hockey related news, I find it absolutely hysterical that Canisius’ Springfest Quad Party is causing such a ruckus this year. Channel 2 News is reporting that the Buffalo SWAT Team and cops from Amherst and Lancaster have been called in to manage the throngs of unruly students.

For those of you not familiar with Quad Party, it is a celebration of the last day of classes in the Spring Semester. Students usually start drinking when they wake up in the morning, pass out, or boot and rally only to start drinking again. The college tries to counteract the all-day drinking by having non-alcoholic fun and frolic at the KAC, but people drink irregardless of the fun and frolic. You ever see drunk people go on a carnival ride or try to do sumo wrestling? Take about unintentional comedy! This approach is a big change from Quad Party of the 90s, where it actually took place in the Quad (novel concept for something called “Quad Party,” right?) and the college served alcohol to those of age.

When I was a student at Chez Griff, I remember that Glendale was shut down one year by throngs of partying students. There was ruckus, yes, but no more ruckus than on a typical Saturday night in the Canisius neighborhood.

In addition, anyone who’s ever had experience with Canisius Public Safety knows that they will not hesitate to step in and keep law and order. (I have memories of them chasing two runaway freshmen during Orientation, since they were heading to We Never Proof to go buy beer.) I have to wonder why this year’s Quad Party suddenly requires the presence of the Buffalo SWAT Team and cops from Amherst and Lancaster? Is it because Hizzoner the Mayor lives around the corner from the college, making it a public safety concern? Is Hizzoner causing some problems for the college, as it was their security cameras that proved that Hizzoner’s darling son was lying about taking the family SUV on a joyride and crashing into two cars? I find it hard to believe that this year’s group of students is any wilder and crazier than previous years. And what’s absolutely ironic about the whole thing is that most of the Jesuits on staff can probably drink most of the student body under the table.


Giving New Meaning to “Two Minutes for Hooking”

March 29, 2008

The NY Daily News is reporting that Sean Avery allegedly has been listed in the little black book of an NYC madam busted this week on prostitution charges. He allegedly was a client of the “mid-range” services offered by this den of iniquity, utilizing a $500 / hour service.

I wonder if this is going to be a strike against Avery in terms of the Rangers re-signing him this year?

I now return you to your regularly scheduled hockey discussion.


The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

March 10, 2008

The Good.

A point is better than no points.

– Pommers getting a goal :16 into the game on a nifty pass from Goose. I’ll be honest, it doesn’t look like Goose intentionally passed the puck, so much as luckily tapped it to a waiting Pommers.

– Lindy smiling in the break between the game and overtime.

The Bad.

– Its one point instead of two. Philly is still three points ahead of us.

The Ugly.

– Gomez had to find the eighth of an inch between Miller’s skate and the post on the shootout. Its almost a year later, and I still can’t believe the Rangers dropped $80 million on him and Drury. Part of me almost wonders if this is the Rangers last hurrah, since they’ve got quite a few free agents this year.

– Staffy had to whiff on the puck on his attempt in the shootout. Staffy, what happened to that bad ass kid that played for us last year? Go find him and report back with him? Ok?

– Why in sam hill was Peters playing and not Kaleta? Peters got his ass kicked during his fight, and really didn’t do much with his post-game scrum with Orr. Kaleta at least would have brought some physicality to tonight’s game. That element was a little lacking tonight.

– Spacek got hurt. The dreaded upper body injury strikes again. I hope its only a return of back spasms and not something major. I’m really not looking forward to reliving the defense dropping like flies ala the 2006 EC Finals during the last 12 games of this season. But at least Hank might come back on Wednesday, although if Spacek’s out, its kind of addition by subtraction. (On a lighter note, it took me a few minutes to get used to hearing Spa-check instead of Spa-chuk during the play-by-play. But I did miss RJ quite a bit.)

– I know why the ref didn’t whistle the play dead when Patches got checked into next Tuesday, but seriously, if the guy is lying on the ice looking dazed and confused, whistle the damn play dead.

– If Versus told me one more time that the Rangers were in white and the Sabres in blue, I was going to scream. However, Versus did manage to impress me by hitting the Ryan Miller trifecta. In one call, they managed to work in his name, that he was a Hobey Baker winner, and that he went to Michigan State. If they would have worked in his age, it would have been the Versus Ryan Miller superfecta, requiring a hearty drink by all.

– I was also getting pissed that Versus was giving the Rangers quite the bj during the play-by-play. I know that bjs are quite the hot topic of conversation today, thanks to the revelations regarding our governor, but if I want to hear about them, I’ll watch the news. I don’t want to hear one during my hockey game!

– I think I’m going to watch tomorrow night’s Devils/Habs game, even though its on against the first night of the Idol Top 12. I don’t think I can stand to listen to the Idols sing the songs of Lennon and McCartney. I might have to dunk a bitch if I do (and I was ready to dunk a bitch after listening to one of the Idols sing Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah. I wish people would get that its not supposed to be a perky song, and stop trying to sing it as such.).

The Frickin Awesome (yes, there was a frickin awesome element to tonight’s game).

– Goose wearing his helmet backwards during the shootout as a rally cap. I saw him on the bench after Pominville scored and had to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it. Hey, it almost worked!